


Keep Your Soul Like A Secret In Your Throat

by I_glitterz, kittys_devil



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Biting, Feeding, Language, M/M, Male Slash, Sex, Sexual Tension, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-08
Updated: 2012-05-07
Packaged: 2017-11-01 15:34:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 36,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/358445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_glitterz/pseuds/I_glitterz, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittys_devil/pseuds/kittys_devil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam's been neglecting himself from the one thing he needs to survive, but it's not like he's doing it on purpose; he's on tour and that distracts him from his need to feed. Tommy suggests to Adam that he can feed off of him, but Adam refuses, until he can't take it anymore and finally gives in. What happens when it becomes routine; Tommy being the only person he feeds from? And when the elephant in the room explodes, can they get back to where they were or will they become more than what they were to each other before?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to adobejunkie for the banner!

  
  


It feels like acid built up in his throat; his thirst. He’s gone a few weeks without feeding before, but this feels like it’s been months. He hasn’t had the time to go out and find a willing partner, so he’s neglected himself, and now, he wishes he hadn’t.

The thirst is so strong, like at any moment, he’s going to attack and that’s not him. He’s fidgety, messing up in sound check, and all around distracted, so he’s not surprised when Tommy comes into his room on the bus after they finish the concert. Adam had screwed up a lot; his thirst the only thing on his mind. He doesn’t want to attack his fans; he loves them, loves their energy and support. And he doesn’t want to attack anyone in the Glamily, would feel guilty as hell if he ever hurt any of them.

“What’s up with you tonight, babyboy? You’ve been so on edge.” Tommy comes over to his bed and crawls in behind Adam, who’s in a fetal position because the thirst feels like it’s tearing at everything inside of him, like someone is stabbing him from the inside out. The blonde spoons up against him, pulls Adam to his chest and runs his fingers through Adam’s hair.

“I’m fine, just tired. Thank you for the concern, baby.” Adam keeps his back to Tommy, knows that if Tommy sees his face, he’ll know that Adam’s lying. His eyes are purple; they get like that when he needs to feed. Tommy’s only seen them like that once and that was when he’d walked in on Adam feeding on his ex-lover, Josh. It had been interesting to watch three different shades of red cross Tommy’s chest and face. He remembers thinking about what that rush of blood would feel like on his tongue, the taste of it dripping down his throat, and taking too much from Josh while hearing Tommy murmur an apology of, “I didn’t know you had company.”

But that was before they had the talk about Adam being inhuman and Tommy getting to the point where he accepted what he saw and that, yes, his boss is a vampire.

“You don’t look fine to me. Is there anything I can do to help out with the funk you’re in?” Tommy starts running his fingers down Adam’s forehead, feather-like touches brushing over his cheek, and across his lips.

Adam sucks in a sharp breath at what Tommy’s doing. If he doesn’t stop, Adam doesn’t know if he’ll be able to control himself, to not sink his teeth into Tommy’s wrist, suck enough blood to quench his thirst, but take even more because it’s _Tommy_ , and Tommy gets to him like no one else has in a very long time. He’s off the bed and out the door the moment his fangs descend, going to the little kitchenette of the bus to look and see if he has any blood bags left in his tour storage bin. He knows he shouldn’t have waited so long to feed, because now, it seems like it’s everywhere, his senses going haywire whenever a human, especially Tommy, is around.

He opens up the fridge and pulls out the bin marked with a blood droplet, and when he opens it to see that he doesn’t have enough blood left to even sustain the thirst he’s feeling, he groans out loud. His body’s shaking, fangs scraping the inside of his lower lip, and his hands are starting to lose their grip around the bin. He doesn’t know how long he’ll last, because he hasn’t gone this long on tour without feeding, but he knows it’s not going to be that much longer before he gives in and takes what he needs no matter who's around to see him.

“Adam? Here, take some.” Tommy extends his wrist and puts it in front of Adam’s face, the blood racing in his veins enough to have Adam’s mouth watering.

Adam pulls back from it, shaking his head back and forth. “No, baby. I can wait until we have a pit stop, it’s okay.”

“Adam,” Tommy says sternly, making Adam look at him, and Tommy looks so beautiful when he’s trying to make Adam do something he doesn’t want to do. Adam forgets to feed a lot, but not for this long, and plus, he’s on tour; it happens. The same thing happened on Idol, but he’d known Kris for a long time then, so Kris was fine with being his donor for the time being.

Tommy crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow. “You forgot to feed again, so just take it. I’m letting you.”

Adam sighs and pushes his way past Tommy to the small living room where he sits on the couch and crosses his legs, tucking them underneath himself. Tommy follows suit, scooting close to Adam and resting a hand on his thigh.

“Tommy, I appreciate the gesture, really, but you’re my band mate, my best friend; taking blood from you feels wrong.” Adam stares at the hand on his thigh, fighting with himself on if he should ignore it or move it, but he does nothing, just stays stock still, the weight of Tommy’s hands like a tease of the blood that’s so close, but yet so far because Adam’s refusing it.

“Adam, I’m offering to help you out, and maybe it could be more than a one time thing. I don’t mind helping you out when you need it, you know, like being your donor; for the tour. Really, whatever needs to be done to help you out, I’ll do it. It’s what friends are for,” Tommy says, shrugging his shoulders like Adam’s daring him to go streak through the venue, not offer up his own blood to feed Adam.

Tommy seems to think it’s no big deal when, yes, it is a big deal. The only donor Adam’s ever had was Kris. Josh wasn’t even like that; he just liked being fed off of right before an orgasm because Adam made it pleasurable instead of painful. And being a donor has a shit ton of risks involved.

“Tommy, you don’t understand what you’re asking for. Donors aren’t just there to be there. It’s dangerous, you’ll get really tired all the time, feel like you don’t have enough energy to even play with us on stage, and I need you. You’re my guitarist,” Adam tries reasoning.

Tommy furrows his eyebrows. “Is that your only excuse? Because I’ll get tired and wont want to play guitar for you?”

Adam looks over at Tommy, so sure that the purple color of his eyes will start to make him nervous, so he tries redirecting his line of vision to the cabinets above Tommy’s head. “No, there are risks you don’t know about, things you wouldn’t be comfortable with doing and the only person who’s ever been my donor is Kris.”

Tommy’s eyes widen. “Allen? From Idol? How? Why?”

Adam shakes his head, because Tommy should be agreeing with him about not giving up his blood to help Adam out with his _problem_ , not trying to give Adam a reason to do it. “We’ve known each other forever, metaphorically speaking, and he asked me the same as you just did and I said yes. That would be why all the fans think there’s something going on between us, but no, he just let me feed off of him. It was what we found out afterwards that made everything stop and it took me a very long time to get over it.”

Tommy’s hand on his thigh moves up about a half an inch, like Tommy’s twitched and Adam’s mind races, his still heart feeling like it’s leaping right out of his chest. “What happened?”

“I developed an attachment to him; so strong that I almost hurt someone who was trying to be friendly with him after a show. It was a fan wanting a picture and I freaked out. So, I don’t think we should do this. You won’t be able to handle my possessiveness.”

Tommy snorts and Adam doesn’t get what’s so funny until Tommy says, “You’re already possessive over me, babyboy. It’s cool, man, if you don’t want to, whatever, but just take some right now so that you don’t drain your next partner dry.”

Adam looks at the blonde, the way his eyes display his worry and willingness to help Adam out, but the doubt in his head still lingers and he tries to fight it, but it’s not working; he can’t do this. “I can’t, Tommy. You have to understand. I’ll be fine until we stop for something to eat; then I’ll go feed. Please, drop it.”

Tommy sighs but nods his head, gets up and walks to the back of the bus where Adam watches him climb into his bunk. It would be so easy to just go back there, crawl over Tommy and sink his teeth into the butter-soft skin of his throat, suck the blood that Adam imagines is so sweet and rich in taste, but he back tracks, thinks of what happened with Kris, and shakes the thought from his head. He’ll go out and find someone else; he’ll be fine. He has to be, because he can’t feed off of Tommy, no matter how much he wants to; even with the blonde’s permission.

Fighting with his thoughts, Adam goes back to his bed to wait out the rest of the bus ride. He falls onto the bed, curls up into a ball and fights the need that’s buzzing through his body, the want he has to taste what Tommy’s offering and forgetting everything he said he would never do again.

He’s not sure how long he’s back there when Tommy’s scent invades him just before he feels a small tap on his shoulder. He must have zoned out, because he usually knows when someone enters a room or comes near him with his back turned.

“We’re here, babyboy, but we have an unexpected problem. There’s a mass of fans outside waiting for you, for us.”

“Fuck. I just...”Adam rolls onto his back and puts his head in his hands out of frustration. The last thing he needs right now are his fans complicating things even more than they already are. He needs to be able to get away for just a few minutes to feed. “Can you distract them? Keep them busy or something. I’m sure you and Isaac can entertain them for a few minutes so I can get away and feed. I’ll get everyone’s food and then find food for myself. It won’t take that long... I hope.”

Tommy turns and yells for Isaac as Adam climbs out of bed. He throws on one of his beanies and a hooded sweatshirt before grabbing his sunglasses, just hoping that he can sneak away from the bus fast enough before all the fans see him. He watches as everyone else leaves the bus, giving them a few minutes to distract the fans and give them with some excuse as to why Adam's not coming off the bus, and then Adam sneaks out past them.

He runs inside the restaurant, orders food for the whole band, then stands there, debating on if he wants to go hunt and come back for it or just wait. The kid behind the counter seems to be filling the orders quickly, so he stands back, waiting for them to finish all the food he’s just ordered. He tries not to look impatient as he waits, but he can’t help look at the clock ever minute or so. It’s taking longer than he thought it would and the buses are going to be leaving soon.

When Adam hears them call his number, he goes up and retrieves the food. Grabbing the bags in his arms, he heads back to the bus. When he gets back inside, he drops off the food before he sneaks out for a fast hunt. However, his plans are stopped. The driver was waiting for Adam and now that he’s on the bus, Dan starts up the engine and begins to roll back onto the road. He freezes at the door when the bus starts moving, the pain of his still unfed hunger thrumming through him.

Tommy grabs him and pulls him toward the back of the bus before Adam has time to process what’s going on. When they get to Adam’s bed, the blonde all but throws him onto the bed. Adam is surprised at the strength of the small man, because he’s got enough strength to break him in half if he wanted to; he just marks it down to being weak from hunger.

“Let me see your eyes, Adam,” Tommy says through gritted teeth.

It’s not a question, it’s an order and Adam knows this. There have been very few times since he’s known Tommy that he gets this way, and Adam knows not to mess with him. He looks up slowly, knowing he’s going to see the anger and disappointment in the brown eyes looking back at him.

“You didn’t fucking feed, did you? We distracted them! You need to stop taking care of all of us all the time and take care of yourself, too. I’ve never seen you this bad, Adam, and it’s kind of scaring me. We’re not talking about this anymore,” Tommy says as he pushes Adam onto his back and sits on his lap before he puts his wrist up to his mouth. “I will break the fucking skin myself if I have to, but you’re going to feed. Now.”

“But what about...”Adam trails off as Tommy moves his wrist closer, the pulse below the skin beating and the sounds rushing through Adam’s hypersensitive ears, calling out his name. Adam wants to so badly, he really does, and Tommy must know it because he pushes his wrist closer to his mouth. What Tommy says next has Adam’s fangs descending and a growl eliciting from his throat.

“The rest? We will figure out later. For now, you’re feeding from me.”


	2. Chapter 2

  
  


Adam’s grip on his wrist is tight, _strong_ , and Tommy can feel his heart beat throbbing; he’s excited and nervous as hell. He doesn't know what he’s offering up, just knows that he wants to help Adam, feels the _need_ to help him and so he relaxes his wrist, watches as Adam leans in and kisses right over his vein softly before opening his mouth.

When Adam’s fangs sink in, pain rushes throughout Tommy’s body, starting at his wrist and working its way directly to his heart. He forces his eyes shut, emotion consuming his body  
because it _hurts_ , and then there’s this overpowering pleasure and Tommy’s eyes fly open on a gasp, before he groans and looks down to see Adam staring up at him a confused look on his face.

Tommy watches his eyes change from purple to their blue grey and then he feels Adam suck the blood from his wrist. It’s weird, the pressure, but it feels like Adam’s touching every part of his body other than his wrist, warmth spreading through his veins and down further toward his very slowly filling erection.

“What’s going on?” Tommy forces out, his hand reaching up to push Adam’s hair off of his forehead. He feels connected to Adam more than he ever has in the two years he’s known him, and they were pretty close on the last tour.

He feels it when Adam finishes, because his fangs push in deeper before they retract. Adam sucks in a sharp breath, licks over the puncture wound on his wrist and closes it, leaving two  
small, silver crescent scars. When Tommy touches them, they feel cooler than the rest of his body, the color around his wrist changing from a slight pinkish color to porcelain white.

Adam wraps Tommy in his arms and he sags against his chest, his whole body suddenly exhausted and all he wants to do is sleep, so he closes his eyes, rests his head on Adam shoulder, and breathes against his neck.

“Tommy? Baby, you need to lie down. Come on, I’ll get you something to drink in a moment. You must feel really thirsty.” Adam changes their positions, laying him down on the bed. He does feel thirsty, like his mouth’s dried up and he can’t get enough spit to moisten it. His head feels like it’s floating and he wonders why he feels high from Adam feeding on him, and why he wants Adam to do it again, to never stop.

“I’ll be right back, baby,” Adam says. He kisses Tommy’s cheek and then he’s gone, leaving him to his thoughts. Why does he want Adam to do it again?

He turns on his side, gets his arm underneath the pillow to pull it closer so he can bury his head and his thoughts.

When Adam returns, he’s finally changed into pajamas and a short sleeved black tee. He has a bottle of water in his hand and he sets it down along with some pills that Tommy assumes are for the headache he’s starting to sport.

“You’re gonna feel like a train wreck for a few hours, but since it’s about one in the morning, and we won’t be at the venue until this evening, you should probably get some sleep. I think I took too much from you. That’s why you’re feeling like someone just threw a sheet of rock at your head,” Adam rambles and Tommy shakes his head softly, minding his headache and holds his hand out for the bottle and the pain pills.

Adam hands them to him, softly running his fingers through Tommy’s hair while he swallows them down with the water, but he can’t stop drinking, like he’s parched.

“Fuck, why am I so thirsty? And what was that?” Tommy swallows the rest of the water and then puts the bottle down and stares at Adam, who suddenly looks guilty.

“I’m pretty sure I took too much for your first time. I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop. It was so good, so rich. I saw the pain you were in and used my venom to take it away, so you wouldn’t hurt.” Adam shifts and lays down next to Tommy, staring at him.

Tommy shifts closer, his knee bumping against Adam’s. “What was it like? How did it taste?” He needs to know, needs Adam to _want_ to do it again as much as he does.

Adam scrunches his nose and Tommy’s face falls, his thoughts going wild. Adam doesn’t like it, doesn’t like the taste of his blood. Tommy doesn't know why that hurts so much but it does  
and he closes his eyes against the on slaughter of emotion that he’s sure plays across his face. “It... I’ve never actually taken from the wrist before so it was weird, but fucking hell Tommy, your blood is addicting, like the most dangerous type of drug.”

Tommy keeps his eyes closed, but asks, “What did it taste like? Was it enough?”

Adam whines high in his throat and then sighs. “It was definitely enough, for now. Your blood tastes like any other kind of blood, but there’s something in it, like strawberries or some kind of spice that has me wanting to take more, get more from you.”

Tommy opens his eyes and looks at the hunger in Adam’s eyes, the way they change, little speckles of purples showing again. He smiles and moves closer, putting an arm around Adam. “I’m glad. So, do you want to do this again? Feed from me? It might be a shit load easier than having to find someone, dude.”

Adam chuckles then goes serious. “If we do this, you have to tell me when too much is too much.”

Tommy crinkles his nose and furrows his eyebrows. “Like you drinking my blood?”

Adam sighs and wraps an arm around him, rubbing his nose across his neck and Tommy shivers. “That too, but no, like when I become too much for you, like when you can’t take it anymore.”

Tommy’s heart drops into his stomach. “When?”

Adam nods and Tommy moves closer until he’s crushed against Adam’s chest. “It’ll get to be too much for you eventually, and you’ll need to tell me when that happens.”

Tommy shakes his head, but doesn’t argue even though he knows it won’t happen; he’ll never get tired of Adam, but he knows more about all of this than Tommy does. “Okay.”

They lay in silence for a moment and Tommy starts to slip under when he hears Adam say, “Tommy?”

Tommy shifts his arm and squeezes Adam to show he’s listening but too tired to talk.

“I want you to stay with me for a while, like sleep with me. Just until I know that you’re fine after I... you know.”

Tommy wants to smile at Adam’s hesitance, but all he does is squeeze Adam again and then sleep overtakes him and he isn’t surprised that his dreams are filled with Adam. He just welcomes it.

* * * *

Tommy wakes up the next morning wrapped up in Adam’s arms with a throbbing in both his head and his wrist. He’s still tired and doesn’t want to move, but his mind is already replaying everything that happened last night. He can feel the scars on his wrist beating like his body is calling out for Adam to sink his teeth into him again. He can’t help but think about how much he wants this, needs this, again.

He shifts and cracks his eyes open, looking at the light coming through the small window of Adam’s room. He remembers the first time Adam told him he was a vampire and Tommy didn’t  
believe him aside from witnessing him feed from his ex Josh. He remembers asking Adam that if he’s a vampire, why doesn’t he burn to death or turn to dust in the light and Adam had laughed for a good fifteen minutes before he found the breath to explain to Tommy that it was a myth, though his skin is sensitive to the sun; the reason for his freckles.

Tommy can’t help but question everything Adam tells him because he’s a horror kind of guy, he watches movies about this type of shit, so he thought he had it all figured out until Adam comes out with sunlight not killing him, and that, no, garlic isn’t going to do anything to him, he’s just not very keen on the smell of it. And Adam looked at Tommy dubiously when he asked about the holy water and crucifix stuff. He told Tommy that, no, the only thing true was that he sucked blood, had fangs, and did live forever. And fuck no, he didn’t ever sparkle in the sunlight, which made Tommy laugh because he knew that, had seen Adam out and about in the sun.

“What are you thinking about?” That’s another thing, he isn’t a mind reader and can’t make Tommy do anything he doesn’t want unless he’s trying to feed and Adam isn’t the kind of vampire that takes; he wants willing partners which is why it’s sometimes hard for him  
to feed.

“Everything and nothing.” Tommy shifts to his side and stares at Adam. Adam’s his best friend, he would do anything for him, but yet he still thinks that Adam is the most beautiful creature on Earth. He wonders if it’s just the vampire in him or if it’s the human part of him that still exists that makes him so magnificent.

Adam pushes his bangs back and he welcomes the warmth it leaves. He knows that in the beginning, he was the running joke of Adam’s type and bullshit like that, but Adam never said anything about it, has always treated him respectfully and never pushed his boundaries, unless they were on stage. But Tommy had given him permission for that the moment before the AMA’s happened. “We’ve been through a lot,” Tommy says.

Adam looks at him and whispers, “Yeah, we have.”

“We can go through this, too, without it destroying everything, right?” That’s what Tommy’s afraid of. Yes, he wants Adam well fed, and he’s putting himself out there to be his donor, but he _asked_ for it, _wants_ it like that because they’re so close and Adam can trust him and he can trust Adam. To him, it’s nothing sexual, just a friend helping a friend out, but to others, they might see it as him being Adam’s property and he doesn’t know how well he can  
deal with that.

Adam squeezes Tommy’s arm; it’s like a show of comfort and Tommy loves it. “Of course! As I’ve said before, this is very difficult and I’m possessive, so if you want to do this, you have to be absolutely sure of it.”

Tommy thinks about that for a second. He could say no, Adam giving him an out, but he doesn’t want to. He wants to help Adam out, loves that Adam would let him if he wanted to. And he really wants Adam to feed from him again, can feel his wrist throbbing, but it’s not painful; it’s like the blood is rushing through it, telling Adam to bite, to take.

“I want you to feed from me again.” He doesn’t know if he meant to say it or not, but it’s out there and he wants to be honest with Adam as much as possible.

“Maybe later. Right now, you need to eat, replenish some of the energy I took from you last night.” Adam moves off the bed and Tommy follows, his headache already mostly gone. He  
leaves Adam’s room and goes to his bunk, pulling out his suitcase from underneath it and opening it up to get a shirt and a pair of pants out. He quickly dresses right there, knows that he should feel embarrassed about changing practically in front of everyone, but he’s not, then he heads to the front of the bus where the rest of the band are, watching TV and eating breakfast. The smell of pancakes and eggs fill his senses and he inhales, wanting some of it.

He goes to the kitchenette and grabs a plate from the cabinet, filling it up and setting it down on the table next to Cam and Ashley. “You look exhausted this morning. Did you sleep well last night?”

Tommy smiles at Ashley and sits next to her, kissing he cheek and grabbing her fork to stab some eggs. This is good, what he needs, the connection with everyone. But he also wants Adam to feed from him again. Was it just the way he came into things with Adam that made him feel like someone else, like he changed his whole personality over a bite? “Just a little worn down, is all. I’m fine, but thanks.”

Tommy catches Adam’s concerned look, but ignores it in favor of talking with Ashley. He’ll deal with Adam’s concern later. He feels fine, better than fine, like he’s awake and alert after so long without being and it’s addicting. He wants to feel like this all the time.

Adam brushes his hair off his face and he looks up, smiling. “You feel any better?”

Tommy mumbles around three bites of pancake that he’s stuffed into his mouth. God, he’s so hungry. He needs to remember to eat before and after Adam feeds because it does take a lot out of him. When he swallows, he smiles at Adam and says, “I feel awesome.”

Adam’s concern doesn’t waver, but he smiles, and that’s all that Tommy cares about. He’ll get Adam to feed again, and soon, but for now, the constant touches make him feel so good and he doesn’t want that to end.


	3. Chapter 3

Tommy had thought he was finally starting to feel better, because he didn’t have his headache anymore and the throbbing in his wrist dulled down to a small tingle, that was until he found himself sitting at a table at some club who’s name he can’t even remember, pressed between Adam and Isaac. His first drink leaves him feeling pretty crappy, but he’s trying to get a little bit of enjoyment out of being someplace for longer than just sound check and the show. 

He’s sitting at the table, sipping his water and running his fingers along the bite marks on his wrist, getting this look from Adam; the same look he’s been getting for almost a week now when he does something, even the smallest thing, that Adam _thinks_ might be because of the feeding. At least that’s what Tommy’s guessing, because it’s not like he’s really asked Adam, and he’s felt a little strange since that morning on the bus, but he knows that worried mother hen look all too well, and he knows Adam’s concerned. 

It’s not that late by anyone's standards, especially his, but he just wants to leave, get away from the people and the sound that has his head throbbing at every beat. He leans closer to Adam, almost shouts into his ear over the music playing in the background. “I’m going back to the hotel. My head is pounding, I feel like shit, and I’m just bringing the rest of you down. Have fun and I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” 

“You need me to walk back with you, baby? Make sure you get there, okay?” Adam asks, yelling almost as loud as Tommy was a minute ago. 

“Naw, it’s pretty much across the street. I can make it just fine. Stay and relax some, you deserve it. I’ll see you on the bus in the morning,” Tommy says, standing up and stretching his back muscles because he feels tight and he’s not sure if it’s because of the sleep he hasn’t been getting or still the side effects of Adam taking a little too much blood the first time. They haven’t done anything since, but Tommy’s not that concerned because Adam did say that it was enough.

Tommy says his goodbyes to the rest of the band and fights through the maze of people to get to the door. Just as he’s about to walk out, he feels someone grab his shoulder and he turns around, expecting it to be Adam letting him know that his worries have gotten to him and that he wants to make sure Tommy’s safe, but instead there are two girls smiling seductively at him. 

“You leaving too, handsome? Wanna come back to our room with us? You know private parties are just so much funner,” the taller of the two girls with bleached hair, fake everything, and a mini skirt that doesn’t leave practically anything to the imagination stumbles out, clearly drunk. 

“Yeah, you wanna have a little fun before you head to the next city, honey? We can be discrete,” the smaller one says as she winks and tries walking over to Tommy, but bumps into her girlfriend and they rock against the wall, the taller girl helping to compose the smaller one. 

“You two have clearly had too much to drink. Come on, I’ll walk you back to your hotel to make sure you get there safe.” Tommy says, then sighs knowing it’s the right think to do no matter how much he wants to just go back to his room and crash. 

He manages to keep the two girls upright and walking with him as they head out the door. He can see them leaning on each other as they head down to the stop light to cross the street and he thinks to himself, _why am I so nice?_. He hears other foot steps behind them but doesn’t think much of it until someone grabs his arm and pulls it behind his back. 

“Don’t move or the girls get it. Give me your wallet,” a dark voice growls out as he waves a gun next to Tommy’s head. “And you two, give me your purses.” 

Tommy would have laughed at the scream the girls made, thinking that this is just like a movie he’s sure he’s seen a dozen time, but he doesn’t, just gets a rush of adrenaline and jabs his free elbow back into the guys’ stomach, causing him to let go of Tommy as he bends over, groaning out in pain. Tommy twists around, pulls his fist back before he slams it into the guys’ face. He can hear the girls running away, apparently sober enough to know they need to get away, but just as he’s about to punch the guy again, he grabs Tommy’s fist stopping him. He punches Tommy in the stomach enough times to make Tommy fall to the ground in pain and the guy gets up. 

As he falls, his heart starts racing, remembering that the guy has a gun and could kill him at any moment. He knows he needs to get back on his feet and at least try to make a run for it, but he pauses when he hears another set of footsteps quickly coming to where they are. He sees the shoes immediately and knows it’s Adam. He wonders for a brief moment how Adam knew, but all of that is forgotten when Adam grabs the man’s throat, and lifts him up just enough so that his feet are no longer touching the ground. 

He watches in horror and excitement as Adam slams the man onto the ground before he lets out a deep growl like the one Tommy heard when Adam fed from him. It makes his entire body shudder as the feel of having Adam’s fangs in his wrist come rushing back to him. Tommy’s eyes go wide as he watches Adam rip into the man’s throat and toss him aside. He thinks to himself that that was one of the scariest and sweetest things he’s ever seen in his entire life and his heart is pounding, watching Adam wipe the blood off his face. 

Tommy blinks and suddenly Adam’s at his side, helping him up and pulling him into a hug. “Fuck it, baby. I knew I should have walked back with you. Are you okay? How badly did he hurt you? Fuck, do we need to take you to the hospital and have you check out? Let me get a car and then we can go and I’ll call Isaac and he can...”

“Adam! Stop. I’m okay. I’ll probably be sore for a while, ‘cause I took a few good hit to my stomach, but no, I don’t need to go to the ER. I just need something to knock my ass out because, fuck, that guy can hit! How did you know, anyways?” Tommy says with his voice wavering a little from the shock of what just happened. 

“You’re mine, baby. I know when you’re in trouble,” Adam says, running his hands in Tommy’s hair softly and Tommy knows he’s trying to both give comfort and look for bumps and it kinda pisses him off because he’s fine.

“Adam, I’m not yours. I’m my own person, free to go and do as I want. As much as I’m grateful for you saving my ass, please tell me you’re not going to be, like, stalking me or some shit like that?” He doesn’t need that. He can fend for himself, has done it for a lot longer than he’s sure Adam thinks he has.

“I told you about this, Tommy. We’re not going to fight about this out here,” Adam hisses into Tommy’s ear before standing up with Tommy pressed against his side. “Come on, let’s get back to the hotel.”

Adam doesn’t let Tommy out of his grip the entire way back to the hotel and Tommy’s sure he’s worse than the secret service. He’s more than capable of walking back to the hotel without feeling like Adam’s holding him up. Neither one of them talk as they walk the short distance to the hotel and by the time they’re in Adam’s room, Tommy’s convinced that Adam’s acting worse than his usual possessive self because he needs to feed. Tommy knows it’s been a week, he’s seen Adam drink small bouts of blood from his replenished stash on the bus late at night, but he’s sure Adam hasn’t had a real feeding since he fed from Tommy. 

As soon as the door shuts, Tommy is right up in Adam’s personal space, not letting Adam get any further than the entry way of the room. 

“Let me see your eyes,” he demands, refusing to move no matter how hard Adam tries to get around him and he knows it’s not hard enough or he’d be on his ass in a flash, so Adam must know Tommy can feel that something’s wrong. 

“I’m fine,” Adam insists, trying again to get around the blonde without actually lifting him up. 

“”That’s bullshit, Adam. You attacked that ass out on the _street_. You know how stupid that is, anyone could have seen you. You need to quit being so stubborn and _tell_ me when you need to feed. I told you I would do this. Now, let me.”

“You told me you would do this and then you get pissed because I call you mine?” Adam growls out the last part, pushing up against Tommy. “To a vampire, a donor is like a partner. I’ll protect you, I’ll be able to know when you’re in trouble, and yes, I _will_ call you mine. Because you _are_. You agreed to this and I told you what I know about it and how I react to it. You fucking _agreed_ , Tommy!”

Tommy lets Adam pass and tries to wrap his head around everything that Adam’s saying and that’s happened since he left the bar. He’s not someone’s property, even if it is Adam. And he’s not going to let Adam treat him like that. He stalks over to where Adam is and opens his mouth to tell him just that when Adam stops him. 

“Stop, before you even say it. You know me better than that, Tommy. I know you’re not my property, but I’m still going to take care of you. I would have taken care of you even if you weren’t my donor, just now, I have a stronger need to keep you safe. If you can’t deal with that, then please, tell me now and I’ll go find blood else where. If you can, then you’re just going to have to live with me being extra possessive, just like I told you I’d get. Either way, you need to go shower, you smell like that ass. And you’re sleeping here tonight so I can keep an eye on you.” Adam walks away from him and starts undressing the bed, rushing around a little faster than Tommy can actually _see_ clearly.

He knows he has to deal with it, the thought of never having Adam feed from him again too much for him to take right now, because he _likes_ it when he does. He never thought he’d come to a point in his life where he knew a vampire, let alone would need that vampire to feed from him. It’s like his body needs it as much as Adam’s body needs the blood. 

“Yes, I can deal with it. It’s just a lot, ya know.” Tommy looks up, meeting Adam’s eyes before walking toward him. “You do need to feed. I can handle it, I’m not that beat up. Please?” 

“Go shower first. Then I’ll see how you really feel, baby.”

Tommy walks into the bathroom, leaves the door open enough to see out of and strips out of his clothes. He can see scratches on his face that he doesn’t even remember getting during the fight. When he slips his shirt off, the movement makes him flinch a little but not so much that he can’t take it. There are bruises already starting to form across his belly where the guy used him as a punching bag. He gets out of the rest of his clothes with a few more flinches, but nothing too bad. He just needs to hide his pain from Adam or he won’t feed from Tommy tonight, no matter how much he might need it. Tommy just hopes that they’ll get to a point where he’s not feeling like he has to force this on Adam every time. 

He stands in the shower, lets the hot water flow down his chest and over the sore muscles on his belly. He washes up slowly, letting the heat of the water relax his body before he has to go back out to see Adam. When he opens the curtain, he can see that Adam has slipped into some sleep pants and boxers while he was in the shower and he just hopes that Adam didn’t hear any sighs of relief and mistake them as pained sounds. 

He dresses quickly, not feeling as bad as he did before his shower and walks out the door. He leaves his clothes in the bathroom until he needs to go back to his and Isaac’s room, but stops and goes back to get his phone, sending a quick text off to Isaac to tell him that he’s going to crash in Adam’s room tonight. It’s not the first time he’s done this and will definitely not be the last. 

Adam’s laying in the bed with the covers pulled back and his hands resting behind his head when Tommy comes back into the room. He gasps and Tommy can only guess that he’s looking at the bruises on his stomach. 

“They’re not that bad, you know how easily I bruise up. They don’t hurt, the shower actually helped,” Tommy rushes out as he climbs into bed next to Adam. “So no freaking out about them. You need to feed, even with the bruises.”

“But it’ll make you weak and I can’t do that to you.” Adam pulls Tommy close gently and he goes, sprawls out on Adam’s chest, his stomach resting on Adam’s thigh.

“No Adam, you can’t wait until you’re curling up into a ball on your bed again. I can see the color changing in your eyes. Tonight is a perfect night anyway, then I can sleep in your big comfy bed and you can cuddle the shit outta me.” Tommy smiles up at him sweetly before a thought strikes his mind. “But, um, you said last time that it’s different taking blood from my wrist. I saw you take it from Josh’s neck, why don’t you do that?”

“No. I’m not, no, just, no.” Adam sighs out like he’s frustrated with Tommy. “That’s really personal for vampires. I was in a relationship with him, Tommy. It wasn’t just about feeding when I was drinking his blood, sometimes it was about more. I just, that’s too much for me, for both of us, if I take from your neck... You’re already having problems with me being possessive and protective, I’m not doing anything else to make that worse.”

“So does that mean you’re going to stop being stubborn and feed tonight?” Tommy asks, hoping his need and desperation to have this happen isn’t showing to Adam. He really, really likes it when this happens and he’s getting butterflies like the last time.

Adam doesn’t respond, just reaches out and grabs Tommy’s wrist, pulling it up to his mouth. Tommy’s breath hitches as he runs his tongue over the marks he left the last time before kissing them both softly. He puts his wrist down and Tommy’s flooded with disappointment. He’s about to protest when Adam reaches for his other arm, and pulls it to his mouth. Tommy sees a flash of Adam’s fangs before he sinks them into his wrist and his body’s overtaken with the pleasure and pain of finally having Adam feed from him again.

Tommy slowly gets his legs to work with him and he moves up Adam’s chest and pushes his face into Adam’s neck, the pulsing in his wrist making his head swim again. He loves this, loves that Adam accepted this when Tommy asked and he’s pretty sure that if it feels like this every time Adam does it, he won’t care about the possessiveness that seems to come from the decision Tommy made.

“Fuck,” Tommy hisses out when he shifts and Adam’s fangs go in deeper. Adam just growls and squeezes his wrist harder like a tourniquet, pumping the blood faster. Tommy brings his other hand up and grips the hair at the nape of Adam’s neck, pulling his closer.

That seems to be the signal Adam needs to stop before it gets to be too much because his fangs descent deeper and then retracted and he’s licking the wound, healing it and he’s kissing Tommy’s wrist softly. “Baby, are you okay?”

Tommy feels incoherent because every good sensation is humming through his body at the moment and he can’t find the words to tell Adam that, _fuck, this is so good_. He clears his throat and with raspy words says, “M’good, fine, great, tired. I need something to drink.”

Adam moves and Tommy groans, pushing Adam back down and raising his head, however difficult it is. “I got it, just stay.” 

Adam goes to protest, Tommy can see it, but he shakes his head and moves slowly off of Adam, padding to the kitchen. Even with this being the second time, Tommy doesn’t feel as drained. Maybe his body’s finally getting used to it. He grabs a glass and fills it with water, then takes it back to the bed. He chugs it down, sit the empty glass on the night stand, and climbs back into bed with Adam who looks equally shocked and warmed by the thought that Tommy can do things after he’s been fed from.

“Stop looking at me weird, man. Come on, it’s cuddle time.” Tommy climbs over Adam, gets his legs on either side of his body and then sinks down to his chest, face planting into his neck. He likes it here for some reason. It feels like the warmest spot on Adam’s body and he’s not cold, just not really warm.

Adam chuckles and wraps his arms around Tommy’s waist, scooting down the bed so that they’re flat and Tommy has his fists clenched in Adam’s sleep shirt, breathing against his neck. This feels good.

“Thanks,” Tommy whispers.

“Shouldn’t I be the one to thank you?” Adam asks, running his hands down Tommy’s back.

“Okay, thanks and you’re welcome.” He kisses Adam’s neck and then lets out a sigh to show Adam that no more talking is such a wonderful idea right now because he’s exhausted and ready for some sleep.

“Good night, baby,” is the last thing Tommy hears before blackness surrounds him.


	4. Chapter 4

Adam drifts in and out of a restless sleep some time after Tommy passes out. His body is almost vibrating from the high of feeding from Tommy, combined with the booze that ran through Tommy’s system and his own high from performing. He can’t get the thought about Tommy asking him why he didn’t take blood from his neck out of his mind, though.

He doesn’t know if Tommy thinks that’s where Adam prefers it, because it is, or if it’s because Adam doesn’t _want_ to, and fuck, he so does. He’s pretty sure Tommy doesn’t believe all the vampire movies out there, because most of them are all myth and no truth, but there is more than one way to take blood from a human, not just from the neck. He’s shown Tommy that by taking from his wrist and it’s weird because he’s never done that before, but he thinks it’s the best place for right now. He doesn’t want to hurt Tommy. 

He can’t help but wonder if Tommy’s going to ask again, or if he’s going to offer it up to Adam. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to resist either, because he wants Tommy so much, it feels like it’s ripping him apart and he’s felt really strange since he first fed on the blonde. He doesn’t think it’s because of the fact that he’s feeding from Tommy, but the fact that he’s wanted the blonde for so long that when he offered to be Adam’s donor, he didn’t know what to do, let alone if he _should_ accept the offer.

Adam’s pulled from his thoughts by Tommy snuffling and shifting closer, rubbing his face against the side of his neck and he loves that Tommy does that, wonders if he does it on purpose or out of habit. He turns on his side, brings the fey-like man closer to him and runs his hands down Tommy’s soft back. Why does this beautiful man have to be so far out of reach, but yet so close? 

He loves Tommy for wanting to help him, but he doesn’t know if Tommy fully gets that since he’s offered, Adam can’t really walk away. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to survive it a second time and the first time it ended was because of his possessiveness; he can’t let that happen again, and he can’t let anything happen to Tommy. He wants to protect Tommy with everything he has and that comes with the possessiveness he feels when Tommy gets hurt or needs help.

“Adam,” Tommy huffs, grabs his shirt and pulls Adam against him; closer so that Tommy can resettle his face back into his neck. Adam doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know if Tommy’s asleep and dreaming or if he’s awake and knows that Adam is, too.

“Shh, go back to sleep, baby.” Adam runs his hand through Tommy’s hair and Tommy lifts his head from the pillow, blinks owlishly at Adam before turning around and pushing his head back against Adam’s chest, settling into sleep.

Adam wraps his arm around Tommy’s side and buries his face into Tommy’s neck, trying to calm down the ache in his throat and the hunger he feels just by Tommy’s neck being so close. Fuck, he wants to bite down, suck more of that delicious blood from Tommy. But more than anything, he wants to be inside Tommy when he feeds from his neck. He wants the connection they’d have if or when that happens. He’d had it with Josh and it was _good_ , but he wants _great_ and he knows Tommy can give it to him; his blood tastes better than Josh’s did, better than anyone’s has. 

Adam sighs into the curve of Tommy’s neck and then tries to shut his brain off so he can relax; Tommy will want to talk in the morning.

* * *

“So... Are you gonna do it?” Tommy’s sitting with his legs crossed next to his amp, his guitar in his lap and Adam next to him during a sound check they have for a radio show they’re performing on.

“Do what?” Adam asks, adjusting the mic and then singing a few notes from his single before he hears Tommy strum his guitar to get his attention. Fuck, he doesn’t want to have this conversation now. He’s been avoiding it since Tommy woke up and started on about Adam feeding regularly and when Adam was fussing over him being hurt still, Tommy said that he was fine and that he actually felt a lot better than he had before he fell asleep.

Adam didn’t know what to think at the time, too shocked when Tommy showed him his stomach to say anything because the bruises that had started to form the night before were gone and the small scratches on Tommy’s face looked like they’d never even been there.

At first, Adam thought he’d dreamed about Tommy being hurt, but then Tommy said something that made Adam really think.

 _“Maybe when you fed from me, it healed me faster.”_ And yeah, maybe so, but he isn’t taking any chances right now and that whole ordeal has the conversation that he knows Tommy wants to have with him on hold for a little bit. And he’s been trying to keep it that way ever since because he doesn’t know if he can feed from Tommy’s neck; it’s too intimate and he doesn’t want to regret it or have Tommy regret it because he doesn’t know if it’ll cause him to become even more possessive of Tommy or not. He just doesn’t know what to do. Things were never _this_ complicated with Kris, but yet again, he wasn’t as attached to Kris as he is Tommy.

“Are you gonna talk to me about the whole sucking blood from my neck thing?” Tommy rests his guitar against the amp and gets up, moving closer to Adam.

“What do you want me to say, Tommy?” Adam sighs and quits fiddling with his mic. They’re going to have this conversation and he doesn’t know if he’s ready for it.

“I want you to tell me how it’s intimate, why you won’t do it. You freaked the fuck out when I asked about it last night.” Tommy sits next to Adam and he watches as Tommy rubs against the marks his fangs made on the smaller man’s wrists. Adam wonders if it’s impulse or if Tommy does it on purpose, just to feel the scars that Adam keeps creating.

He looks at Tommy and all he can see is general curiosity and he doesn’t know what to say or even how to explain it. “It just feels that way.”

“Not good enough, Lambert. Explain.” Adam wonders when Tommy became such a bossy little shit, but then again he’s always been that way. He just hides it underneath his quiet exterior.

“It’s like a lover’s connection, and I don’t know for sure, but it might make me a little crazier over you than I already am,” Adam says, pulling Tommy closer because he wants the blonde next to him, by his side. Tommy doesn’t seem to mind, resting his head on Adam’s shoulder and playing with the string of fabric that’s coming undone from his jeans.

“Oh. Well, maybe it doesn’t have to be that way. Maybe you can do it without it being like that. Would you try? I don’t know if my wrists are the best place to do it because they’re hard to cover up, even with my long sleeves. I always wear a jacket or hoodie and it covers a lot, so why not try it out? Just once?” Tommy insists, staring at the floor.

“Why are you so insistent on doing this? Do you want me to do it? To bite you in a place that, with the wrong move, could end your life?” Adam doesn’t want to scare Tommy, but that’s a fact as well. He could kill Tommy with one wrong move. He’s done this enough times to know where to bite, but that’s beside the point. “I don’t feel comfortable with doing that.”

Tommy sighs and smiles at Adam and he knows it’s fake when it doesn’t reach Tommy’s eyes. “Okay, I’m sorry. We’ll stop talking about it. I don’t want to upset you.”

Adam hugs Tommy close. “Don’t be sorry, baby. Just maybe not right now. If you really want me to try it, then when I’m ready and when I think you are, we’ll do it, okay?”

Tommy kisses his cheek and nods, standing up. “I’m gonna get a bottle of water before we start. You need anything?”

 _Your blood_ , Adam thinks. “No, I’m good. Thanks, baby.”

Tommy’s smile does reach his eyes when he walks away and Adam thinks that maybe Tommy’ll drop this conversation for now. He only hopes.

* * *

Adam is supposed to be getting ready for tonight’s show but he can’t seem to get the thought of feeding again from Tommy out of his mind. Every time he gets close and Adam gets a whiff of his scent, he can feel his fangs fighting to drop down and take what the vampire in him _knows_ is his. And it’s not that Tommy’s been making it any easier on Adam; he’s become closer and clingier, if that’s even possible. Tommy’s always _there_ making Adam’s senses overload. He doesn’t want to do this, depend on someone again, especially someone that’s already so close to him, but here he is, needing Tommy in a way he’d never expected when he first met the blonde. 

Adam’s interrupted from his thoughts by a knock on his door. He looks up just as it opens and he sees Tommy’s face smiling back at him. “Um, I know you’re a rock star and fashionably late is the thing to do, but you do need to get ready at some point. We can only keep the fans waiting for so long,” Tommy pauses as the expression on his face turns to worry, “Oh, shit, you aren’t waiting for me, are you? Do you need to feed? You have to tell me these things,” Tommy rushes out in one breath, moving quickly to Adam. 

“No, baby, I’m fine, just lost in thought for a moment. It won’t take me too long,” Adam says as he hops off the chair to grab his stage clothes. “Do your makeup while I’m getting ready and then I’ll worry about mine.”

Adam dresses quickly, most of it being so routine from doing it almost every night for some time now. He gets his makeup on and they’re both out of the dressing room only a few minutes later. He meets up with the rest of the band and dancers for a moment before the band takes the stage and all of Adam’s focus goes into the music the second he hears the band start to play. 

Adam makes it about halfway through the first song before his entire body screams at him to bite into Tommy and taste the sweet blood that flows just under his skin. Adam can’t tell if Tommy does it on purpose, all the rubbing and touches and how pliant he goes any time Adam touches him, because he’s always been this way, but tonight it’s more distracting and makes Adam want to just pull him off stage and _taste_ him.

When they get off stage, Adam’s so gone on wanting to feed from Tommy that he doesn’t even stop to congratulate the band on a good show like usual, just heads straight for the dressing room because he _needs_ a moment to himself or he thinks he might combust. 

When he gets to the dressing room and heads over to the vanity, the moment he looks into the mirror, he has to contain himself from shattering it into pieces. His eyes are bright purple, his skin a sickly gray color and he thinks that maybe he needs to feed now before he attacks someone. Fuck, he just fed last night! Why is it becoming almost impossible for him to feed like usual? Why does it seem like he needs to feed every day, get a taste of Tommy every second?

A knock on the door jolts him from his thoughts and away from the mirror to find something to do so it looks like he’s getting ready for the night out. “Uh, just... Fuck, just a minute!” Adam shouts out, pulling his shirt off in a rush and ripping the zipper of his pants down too quickly, the seams breaking apart a little at the movement. He’s gonna need to get that fixed before the next concert.

“Adam? It’s me, are you okay? You ran off stage like a bat outta hell,” Tommy’s voice filters through the door and Adam doesn’t need this right now. He doesn’t want Tommy to be concerned; he’s fine. _He’s fine!_

“Yeah, yeah I’ll be out in a minute!” Adam grabs his street clothes, throws them on and then goes back to the vanity and looks at himself; he’s still pale, but his eyes have changed to a somewhat tolerable purple and he thinks he could pass for just needing a little taste of blood. He thinks he can get that at the club, doesn’t want to bother Tommy with that.

He cleans his face off in a hurry, misses more glitter than he wants, but doesn’t have the decency to care about right now, rubs more foundation on his face and then re-applies the eyeliner to his eyes before he’s grabbing his things and walking out the door, Tommy next to him with a concerned look on his face.

“Are you okay, Adam?” Tommy asks, touching his back as he walks next to him.

Adam nods his head. “Yeah, pumped from the show and ready to party! Let’s go!” Adam smiles the biggest and fakest smile he can before he’s rushing through the halls and pushing the back door open, the flash of cameras and screams from the fans a welcomed distraction to the conversation he doesn’t want to have with Tommy about maybe needing more blood than he usually does.

* * *

The club is hot, sweaty, smells of alcohol, cigarettes, and so much pulsing blood that Adam’s pretty sure if he moves the wrong way, he’ll have a willing body attached to his side. He’s decided to venture away from the band so he can feed, so when he gets to the middle of the dance floor and a small, green eyed blonde pushes his way into Adam’s space, Adam takes the opportunity at hand and grabs him up, dancing his ass off.

The pulse the guy has is racing, the blood pumping faster and faster the quicker they move together on the floor. Adam bends down, rests his face against the guy’s neck and feels the pulse just underneath the skin right at the tip of his nose. He wants this so badly that he almost takes it right there, his fangs dropping down and his mouth filling with liquid pleasure.

“Let’s go somewhere private,” Adam whispers into the guy’s ear, his voice soft, but loud enough for the human to hear over the loud thump of the bassline. 

The guys nods, takes Adam’s hands and leads them toward the back of the club against a wall right next to a speaker and Adam thinks it’s perfect; the sounds that he’s sure the human will make being drowned out by the music soothes something inside of him, because he doesn’t want to hear this man’s voice in his ear, crying out his own pleasure.

He gets into the guy’s space and starts attacking his mouth, bruising kisses that would have put the AMA kiss to shame, but he’s being gentler than he wants to, knows that human’s are weaker and _will_ break no matter how strong they think they are. The guy seems to be loving it, latching onto Adam’s shoulder with a grip tighter than anyone would think someone so small could have.

When Adam licks his lips and starts sucking his way down the guy’s neck, he’s rewarded with a grind of hips into his hardening cock. He groans into the guy’s neck, licks a strip from his collarbone to his jaw and then sucks a kiss right above the artery, thick and pulsing with the blood he can’t wait to taste. His fangs drop and he scrapes them across the guy’s throat and hears a faint sound of the guy moaning and shifting his neck.

“Please,” it’s like a whispered plea into his ears and he grins, bites down and waits for the luscious liquid to fill his mouth. He shifts his fangs, bites deeper and then, _yes_ , his mouth fills with the crimson heaven.

He sucks and suck and suck and _fuck_ it’s so good but doesn’t feel like _enough_! Adam groans out of frustration and sucks again, the liquid flowing like a river down his throat, but it’s not _enough_! Why isn’t it enough?

“What the fuck?” It’s distant, his blood craze fogging the voice, but he knows it, knows that he loves to hear that voice, but he can’t place it. He feels a hand on the back of his neck and the moment is gone; his fangs retract, his mind clears and he can hear the music instead of the pulse rushing over his tongue.

He pulls away, looks over and wishes like hell he didn’t, because Tommy is standing right there, his hand on the back of Adam’s neck, an expression so far past fury, it’s got its own category of anger written all over the man’s face and his pulse, god, it’s _zooming_.

“Fuck,” Adam whispers, because he sure the hell is.


	5. Chapter 5

Tommy can’t even look Adam in the eyes, so frustrated and _hurt_. He’s too focused on the blood dripping down that twink’s neck and the crimson liquid that’s still on Adam’s lips. The anger inside of him boils up in a way he’s _never_ felt before. After everything they’ve talked about, Adam does this? Tommy just stares at the guy’s neck, at the blood that has seemed to slow down with time.

When he looks at Adam, the way his eye have changed from a bright purple to their natural blue and the way his face looks sorrowful, Tommy can’t handle it, his rage over showing all the hurt and pain he felt when he discovered Adam feeding on someone else. That wasn’t even what hurt the most, Adam feeding from someone else, it was the fact that he _lied_ to Tommy, told him that he didn’t want to feed from his neck because it was too intimate, but he’d do it with a stranger? Someone he doesn’t even know, when Tommy had offered, wanted it so badly that he’d almost begged for it?

He turns quickly, moving away from them, away from the club and away from everything that’s reminding him of Adam and his selfish fucking hunger as fast as he can. He’s not running, he’s too angry for that, too hurt to slow down and walk out calmly like a normal person would. He walks away faster when he feels Adam’s presence behind him, rigid movements, staring straight ahead but not making eye contact with anyone.

He hears his name, not even sure who’s calling out to him, but isn’t stopping to find out and when he shoves through the door of the club, everything just intensifies. He wants to scream and yell, punch everything around him but at the same time, he wants to just collapse into a hole and hide from the embarrassment that he feels at seeing Adam like that _again_ with someone he didn’t know, doing something he wouldn’t even do with Tommy! He’s walking faster and harder, his lungs burning from the oxygen they’re trying to pull in when he hears Adam call out his name.

“Don’t talk to me! I don’t wanna fucking _hear_ it right now,” he hisses out between a clenched jaw and flared nostrils. He doesn’t want to hear the excuses, the lies that he’s sure Adam’s already forming in his head. He’s not going to think he did anything wrong, and that’s what hurts the most, because it makes Tommy feel like what he wants from Adam is wrong.

Tommy doesn’t stop until he’s back at the hotel. He knows Adam followed him, but he doesn’t turn to look at him, can’t even face him right now and as much as he does _not_ want to go back to _their_ room, he also doesn’t want anyone else to see him like this. He gets into the elevator, stands in front of the buttons, so close, his nose almost touches the wall because Adam walks in right after him and he wants to be as far away from him as possible. Adam does as Tommy asks, though; he doesn’t make a sound and Tommy can’t figure out if that’s pissing him off even more or making it better. The fucking nerve Adam has!

When the door to their room shuts and he hears Adam turn the deadbolt, he starts seething with even more rage. He’s so hurt and shocked by what Adam’s done, but that’s being pushed down and he’s only letting the anger show right now, because he’s feeling weak and vulnerable and doesn’t want to show that to Adam. Tommy wants to lash out at Adam, something he’s _never_ felt toward anyone before. He watches as Adam toes off his shoes, slips his jacket off and sits in one of the chairs without making a sound. The silence is deafening to him, but he can’t do anything, thoughts of jealousy and possessiveness clouding his mind and his judgment and he’s pretty sure that if he doesn’t get ahold of himself right now, it’ll end badly for the both of them.

“Ugh!” He shouts out when he can’t take it any longer, pacing back and forth in the room, his body thrumming too much to just sit down and try to calm himself.

“Tommy, I...” Adam starts before Tommy cuts him off.

“I didn’t say you could talk! I don’t want to hear anything you have to say right now!” he spits out with his jaw still clenched tight. He feels like he’s losing his mind, the rage inside him making the room spin, his ears ring and he just wants to _hurt_ something, or better yet, someone and that someone happens to be Adam. Tommy spins quickly, slamming his fist into the wall. The pain feels good; it’s not enough to do any _real_ damage but it’s enough for him to feel like he’s doing _something_ about the anger inside of him. He pulls his fist out of the plaster and he can see some scratches with a little blood, but he ignores it in favor of turning to Adam. He’ll pay for the damage if he has to.

“You!” he growls out as he looks at Adam for the first time since he left the club. Tommy can see Adam swallow like he’s not sure if he’s going to be allowed to finally talk or if he’ll have to shut up until Tommy’s finished. He walks over so that he’s looming over Adam before he continues, “Was it good for you, Adam? Get off on biting that fucking twink in a way that could have killed him? Make you feel strong and powerful, like you were the master of the fucking universe? Did you even think about what you were doing?”

“I...”

“Save it, Adam. I don’t want your excuses. I don’t want all the lies you have in your head spilling out. I’m just some fucking _toy_ for you to play with, aren’t I? We fucking agreed! You could have, no _should_ have, come and gotten me. Or were you too busy thinking with your dick to even _remember_ me? And what the actual fuck what that, anyways? What happened to too intimate for _us_?”

Tommy turns away from Adam and starts pacing again. He feels like there’s so much he wants to say, needs to say, but right now, he can’t find the words. He feels like his entire world’s crashing down on him and he doesn’t even know why he feels like this, why he feels like Adam just cheated on him when they’re not even _together _. He knows that he and Adam aren’t in a relationship, at least not in the way most people might use the word, but he can’t find any other word to describe what they have. And right now, he’s so hurt by what Adam did that it makes him sick.__

The flashback he gets when he thinks about it; the way Adam had his fangs deep in the guy’s neck, the way Adam looked, the fact that that should have been _him_ and not some stranger from a club, has his inside clenching tight from possessive jealousy, and the sudden realization of that has his knees feeling weak and he couldn’t make it to the bathroom faster if he tried. He empties the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl, his throat burning from unshed tears, anger, and vomit. 

When he has nothing left, he falls onto his ass, pulls his knees up to his chest and tries to breathe. His chest is tight, his body still humming with anger, but filled with hurt at the same time and confusion as to why he feels like this. The image of seeing Adam do _that_ , the one thing he’s all but been begging Adam to do with him, to some stranger fills his head.

He’s pulled back from his thoughts by a soft knock on the doorway of the bathroom, and when he looks up, he sees Adam standing there, almost cowering like a puppy in trouble.

“What?” Tommy says hoarsely, still not ready to talk, and his throat’s burning.

“Are you okay, baby?” Adam whispers it like he’s afraid that talking will get his head chewed off again.

“No,” Tommy sticks with one word responses. He might let Adam talk, but everything is not okay. And the _baby_ sinks Tommy’s heart even more because that’s not them anymore, that’s not this and he hasn’t even realized that that’s what this could have been until now, until it’s like it’s literally been ripped from his hands.

“Can we talk, out there, please?” Adam’s almost begging, and Tommy’s never seen him this timid and unsure of himself since they met.

“Yes,” Tommy says harshly. He’s still pissed and hurt, but he knows Adam and he knows that if he doesn’t agree to this, neither one of them will get any rest tonight. He gets up, brushes his teeth to get the acid taste out of his mouth and splashes some cold water on his face. He looks up into the mirror and shudders at the rage and hurt staring back at him.

When he walks back into their room, Adam’s sitting on the couch, a glass of water in his hand and when Tommy walks over, Adam hands it to him. “Thanks,” Tommy whispers, taking the glass and sipping the water, the coldness soothing his throat some.

When he sits down, he moves as far away from Adam as the couch will allow and holds the glass in his hands, giving them something to do. The anger is gone, flushed down the toilet with everything else that was left in his body, but the hurt has risen and he can’t hold it back any longer, so he looks over at Adam and whispers, “Why?” Because he would really like to know.

Adam sighs and what he says doesn’t even come close to the comfort Tommy’s sure he was going for. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I couldn’t stop it, it was like I _needed_ it or I would have gone insane.”

Tommy shakes his head because Adam is full of shit. “You could have come to me. I would have helped you. I _asked you_ what was wrong when we finished the concert, but you ignored me. Do you even want this? Do you want to feed from me?”

Adam looks over at Tommy and the pain in his eyes makes Tommy want to look away, want to comfort him because a pained Adam is a pained Tommy, but he doesn’t move, forces himself to stay put because Adam did this, Adam made him like this. “Baby…”

“Please, don’t call me that. Not now, not after that, after what I saw, with a _stranger_. You won’t give me that, won’t take what you need from a place you call too intimate for us, but you’ll do it with someone you barely even know? How is that even right, Adam, huh?” Tommy’s chest tightens when Adam goes to grab his hand and he pulls away from it. He doesn’t want Adam touching him right now, can’t stand the thought of Adam touching him after what he saw.

“We’re not ready for that, _you’re_ not ready for that. That was just some guy, I didn’t know him, and we aren’t connected like you and I are, so it’s different. I won’t get possessive over him. I won’t try to keep him from everyone that’s not me. Don’t you get it, Tommy? I _need_ you so much, that I’m trying to stay away from _that part of my need_.” Adam looks at him with pleading eyes, like he wants Tommy to understand, but all Tommy can think about is the fact that Adam will feed off of someone he doesn’t know from the neck, but he won’t do it with Tommy.

And the fact that he’s hurts so much by that makes him believe that it’s not just because he’s Adam’s donor that it has him so twisted up, but the fact that he thought, no, he _assumed_ that Adam felt something for him like he felt for Adam. The moment Adam had fed from him the first time made him see what he wanted, and that was Adam, still is. He just didn’t realize it until tonight.

“I thought that helping you out would make you see what was right in front of you, but I guess it hasn’t. You still don’t see it, fuck, I don’t even think you can _feel_ it,” Tommy says, his hurt turning to anger, because it pisses him off that he could have been so stupid.

“So what? You want me to feed from your neck? Is that what you want? Something you’re not ready for?” Adam gets up and grabs Tommy’s arm, his eyes changing from blue to purple faster than Tommy’s ever seen before.

“Adam, stop.” Tommy tries to pull his arm out of Adam’s grip, but he squeezes as hard as steel and pulls Tommy to his feet, dragging him to the bed. He shoves him down and when Tommy hits the mattress, Adam’s on top of him, a feral look on his face that Tommy’s never seen before. “Adam!”

“This is what you wanted, Tommy, right? You want me to bite your neck? Well, fucking bare it and see it happen. I’ll do it, I’ll fucking make you happy and ruin everything because I won’t be able to control myself afterwards. Go ahead, do it!” Adam yells, glaring at Tommy, his fangs descending.

Tommy stares at Adam. He could get what he wants right now, but he doesn’t know if he should do it like this, with Adam so mad and wild. He turns his head and whispers, “I don’t want it like this.”

Adam leans down and rubs his face across Tommy’s throat, licking a path from the top of his shirt to the tip of his ear. “You want it, baby. I’ll give it to you. Stop being angry with me and I’ll do it,” Adam whispers, voice gone soft and husky and it hits Tommy harder than it ever has.

He wraps his arms around Adam’s neck and pulls him down, hugging him close because his anger is gone, but his hurt is still there and he says as much. “I’m not angry as much as I am hurt, Adam. You betrayed everything we talked about and you can’t just say you’ll do something to make me happy. I want you to. I want to feel that connection, but I don’t see why you’re so afraid of it.”

“Because I _know_ what’s going to come out of it.” Adam sounds pained, but he doesn’t move off of Tommy.

“No, you don’t. You _think_ you do, but you don’t.” Tommy moves his face into the space between Adam’s shoulder and his head, his face pushed into Adam’s neck, the spot he loves. He’s shaking from the anger subsiding and he doesn’t even know what to do anymore. “Don’t do it again, just don’t do it. Please, it hurts too much to see you like that with someone else when we agreed that it was you and me, or at least I thought it was like that.”

Adam moves, rolls them over and pulls Tommy with him until he’s straddling Adam’s hips. He looks up at Tommy, eyes so purple they look like stained glass. “I want you too much. I didn’t think about it before it happened, I just needed to feed and I couldn’t take more from you when I’d taken so much the night before.”

Tommy leans down and rests his head above Adam’s heart. “I told you to just ask me and I’d do it. I’d do anything for you, Adam.”

“I know, and that scares me because I’ll get even more possessive. I don’t think you can handle that.” Adam sighs and runs his hands through Tommy’s hair and he keens, rubbing his face against Adam’s chest.

“You won’t bite me on the neck because you think I won’t be able to handle the possessiveness that you _assume_ will come from it?” Tommy asks, and it’s starting to make a little more sense to Tommy. Yes, it’s an intimate move, but it’s also a connection that could make Adam unable to control himself like it did with Kris.

“Yes, and you’re not ready for that, baby. I’m sorry that I went out to do something I agreed we’d only do, but I couldn’t take it from you that way and I just couldn’t ask you. It still feels so weird asking that from you.” Adam runs his fingers through Tommy’s hair and grips it hard, lifting his head to look at Adam.

Tommy stares at him and watches his eye turn blue and then he smiles. “You obviously missed the way I reacted to seeing you with someone else, babyboy. I practically tried to rip your head off. And I’m sorry about that. I just thought that if we were doing this, it was just us, no one else in the equation. I know we’re not, like, together or anything, but it feels that way, okay, and it just felt like you ripped my heart out and stomped all over it when I saw you with that guy. It was like you didn’t even care.” Tommy closes his eyes against the hurt that washes over him, but he opens them again when Adam tugs on his hair.

“Why _did_ you react like that? I mean, I know it hurt you, but it was more than that, wasn’t it? What’s going on?” Adam whispers.

Tommy sighs and looks down at Adam’s lips, the way they part and he can see that his fangs haven’t pulled back yet and he does something he hasn’t, he runs his finger along Adam’s lips and pushes down on his bottom lip, opening Adam’s mouth. “Like I said before, we’re not together, but it feels like it. I don’t know why I felt it so strong then, but in my mind, you’re mine, so seeing you like that felt like you were cheating on me and it hurt, god, Adam, it hurt so much.” He runs the pad of his finger against Adam’s fang and his eyes widen when it cuts, blood running down his finger and onto Adam’s tongue.

He gasps when Adam closes his mouth around his finger and sucks, wrapping his hand around Tommy’s wrist, pulling it closer to his face while Adam closes his eyes. “Fuck, Adam.”

Arousal seeps out of his voice and his dick hardens in his jeans. He can feels Adam’s tongue soothing the cut, licking over it and then he nips the end and Tommy can feel the blood flow again. Adam’s teasing him and it’s the biggest turn on to Tommy that Adam’s teasing him _with his own blood_. He leans down and nuzzles the side of Adam neck, leaving a line of soft, chaste kisses down the side of his face and up into his hairline. He doesn’t know if he should be doing this, but he can’t help it, doesn’t know if he even wants to stop right now, because this feels so good.

Adam licks over the pad of his finger, pulls it out of his mouth and has Tommy under him in the blink of an eye. He stops there, just looking down at Tommy and before he knows it, Adam’s lips are on his and it’s not like they haven’t kissed before, but this doesn’t feel like the kisses they’ve shared before. This feels like a soul searching, breathtaking, life sucking right out of him kiss that has him melting into the mattress like every woman in the sappiest of films and he kisses back, because that’s all he can think to do. He wraps his arms around Adam’s neck and follows Adam when he licks at the seams of his mouth, opening up and softly sliding his tongue along Adam’s.

It pulls the most embarrassing moan out of him, but he just can’t seem to care at the moment because Adam’s breaking him apart with his mouth and tongue and Tommy’s never felt like this. Adam tastes so sweet, like sugar, and he knows it’s the venom, because his body relaxes even more and his muscles turn into jelly.

He runs his fingers through Adam’s hair, grip going tight when Adam’s tongue licks its way into his mouth. Adam moans out, slowly rocking his hips into Tommy’s erection and he spreads his legs, lets Adam get in between them, closer. He feels the most connected to Adam than he’s ever felt and when they pull apart to breathe, Adam’s eyes are purple again.

“Do it,” Tommy breathes out against Adam’s spit shiny lips. He stares at Adam, hoping he knows what Tommy means and he sees it when Adam gets it because he looks like he’s about to protest, but Tommy stops that before it even starts. “I don’t care, okay? I can handle it, I promise.”

Adam looks at Tommy for a long moment and when he finds what Tommy assumes he’s searching for, he nods and slowly kisses Tommy again, moving his way down his mouth to his jaw and then, he’s trailing soft kisses along the line of his neck, softly licking the vein there and sucking a small mark right below his collar.

“If I do this, you can’t regret it. I don’t think I could take it if you regretted it, Tommy,” Adam whispers against his throat, running his fangs along the skin there and Tommy shivers, unlocking one arm from around Adam’s neck and wrapping it around his lower back, bringing him closer, pulling his body against Tommy’s and Adam moans out softly.

“I want this, Adam, have begged for it, please.” Tommy pulls Adam’s shirt up, runs the tips of his fingers along the small of his back, earning a soft moan from Adam before he licks along the vein again, and then the greatest of any kind of feeling washes over Tommy when Adam sinks his teeth into his neck.

There’s a tiny bit of pain, but the pleasure and feeling of _good_ overpowers it so much, it feels like it’s not even there, wasn’t there to begin with. It feels like the best kind of orgasm and he can’t stop the moan that escapes his throat, finding its way out of his mouth and right to Adam’s ears. He sucks against Tommy’s neck and pleasure shoots through him like a bullet, pooling in his stomach and groin, warmth spreading throughout his veins and he thinks it’s Adam’s venom, but he’s not sure. All he knows is that he can’t believe they’re doing this, can’t believe they didn’t start with doing this before because it feels so good, like the greatest high that he never wants to come down from.

“Fuck, Adam,” Tommy whispers, turning his head so that Adam can get closer, and when he does, Tommy’s scratching his nails up Adam’s side, hopefully drawing blood even though he knows it’s unlikely, because he wants Adam to feel as much as Tommy feels right now. Everything in his body feels like it’s coated in sex and sugar and he’s basking in it, keeps basking in it even after Adam pulls back and seals the marks with a lick.

His mind is floating and he doesn’t come back down until he feels Adam’s hands on his face, soothing over his cheeks and lips, calling his name softly. “Baby, Tommy, come back to me.”

“Wasn’t gone,” Tommy mumbles, opening his eyes and looking up at Adam. His eyes are blue again, but they have a light in them that they didn’t have before and he smiles up at Adam. “Come here.”

Adam smiles and leans down, Tommy pulling him to his mouth, because he really wants to kiss Adam again. It’s soft and slow, little chaste kisses that leave warmth inside of Tommy’s body.

“You need to rest. I’ll wake you up in a few to eat and drink something.” Adam maneuvers Tommy until he’s under the covers with Adam, wrapped around his side with his head on Adam’s chest, his leg tossed over Adam’s and his arm around his waist.

“We’re doing that again. Fuck it, we’re doing that from now on,” Tommy says over a yawn. He scoots up a little bit until his face is against Adam’s neck where he wants it to be and then before he can hear what Adam says after that, he’s asleep, body relaxed, mind blank, and the hurt and anger a far memory because he got what he wanted and that was Adam biting his neck. He just hopes he doesn’t regret it in the morning, hopes he hasn’t lied to Adam.


	6. Chapter 6

They have a routine now, and Adam doesn’t even know how it started just that now when he needs to feed, he goes to Tommy. They don’t really talk about it anymore, because Tommy knows that when Adam comes, he’s asking for one thing. And Adam goes a lot, more than he needs to, but there’s something in the pit of his stomach telling him that he needs Tommy’s blood, can’t live without it.

They go on like nothing has changed, because it really hasn’t, Adam just feeds from a different part of Tommy’s body now. They aren’t together, even though he wants it and can see that Tommy does, too, but he’s afraid and Tommy isn’t ready for that. He isn’t even ready for what they’re doing, but Adam knows it makes Tommy happy, makes him feel wanted when Adam comes to him.

It’s not one-sided though; this makes Adam happy, too, no matter how scared he is. He doesn’t want to hurt Tommy, but at the same time, they both want this. It feels like it _has_ to be this way or no way at all.

They’re getting ready for the show to start when Adam feels it again, this burning need to feed from Tommy. It’s happening sooner and sooner now and he doesn’t know how to control it. He’s applying his makeup when the hunger strikes him, his eyes changing to a light blue with specks of purple in them. That’s what they do now, they turn a light blue, not even the purple they usually are when he _needs_ to feed.

He sighs and puts down the eyeliner, turning his head to see the time; they have about fifteen minutes before the show starts. He gets up and walks over to the clothing rack, grabs his stage shirt a pulls it on. Dressing gets easier and easier with practice and Adam’s out of his dressing room not thirty seconds later heading to Tommy’s room.

He knocks on the door and waits, can hear Tommy rustling around. They get their own dressing rooms now since Adam has the funds for it. It’s a lot better, because no one is cramped and they can actually have their space to do their rituals by themselves, like Adam’s is to calm down his hunger and turn it into the energy to go out on stage and perform a spectacular show. Well, that was before Tommy had offered to be Adam’s donor, so now, his ritual is to get ready and to come to the blonde’s dressing room for a quick feed before hitting the stage.

Tommy opens up the door and moves to the side to let Adam in before closing it behind him. “Give me a minute, I need grab something to eat.” Tommy wrestles around his things and then goes to the small fridge, pulling out a wrapped chicken sandwich. Adam doesn’t ask where he got it, because that’s what Tommy’s been doing since the night that Adam fed from his neck a few weeks ago. He makes sure he has something to eat before Adam feeds and something to eat and drink afterward. He still can’t believe that Tommy’s been his donor for almost two months now; it feels like time’s gone by so slowly since then.

“Take your time, I’m in no hurry.” Adam walks over to the small chair next to the vanity and sits down, eyes still on Tommy as he watches the blonde roam around the room, sandwich in his mouth when he pulls his stage pants on. He loves that Tommy’s not as self-conscious around him as he was when they first met. It seems like forever ago that Tommy would blush at every compliment Adam gave him, or would laugh at every joke, stay by his side because he didn’t know the ropes as well as Adam did.

“What are you looking at? Is something wrong? Got something on my face?” Tommy raises an eyebrow and smiles at Adam.

He chuckles and shakes his head, this warmth surging through him because he gets to have this, this connection with Tommy that no one else does. “Just remembering the shy, blushing at everything Tommy I used to know. You’ve grown in spirit since we’ve met and I was admiring you.”

And there it is, the blush Adam loves so much, the way the blood rushes to Tommy’s cheeks, the thudding of his heart beat that Adam could probably hear from miles away if he listened really carefully. “Sweet talker, always one to butter everyone up. Come on, I’m ready. We’ve got like five minutes before stage time.” Tommy walks over to Adam and curls up in the chair on Adam’s lap, bare chest against Adam’s sequined shirt and he wants to feel skin on skin, but he’s not going to push his luck.

They haven’t kissed off stage since that night and Adam really wants to, but he doesn’t want to make Tommy uncomfortable. He maneuvers Tommy in his lap until he’s straddling his hips and he can see Tommy’s face. He smiles at him and pulls the blonde toward him, listening for the double thump of his heart beat that always happens when Adam does that. He can feel his fangs descend and watches Tommy tilt his head to the side baring his neck while watching Adam’s face like he always does.

Adam can feel his features hardening into concentration, but he wants to wait a little bit longer, wants to watch Tommy squirm in anticipation of what he knows is going to come, but Tommy gets impatient and leans forward, hand worming into Adam’s hair, grip tight as he pulls Adam toward his neck. “Come on, babyboy. We don’t have time to fool around.”

Right as Tommy finishes the sentence, Adam’s claiming his neck, teeth sinking and blood flowing. He sucks, tasting the strawberry flavor of Tommy’s blood before he gulps a few mouthfuls and then pulls back, sealing the wounds and licking his lips as fast as he can so that Tommy doesn’t see the blood. He doesn’t like it when the blonde sees that. It reminds him that he’s different, not someone Tommy should be with, because he could potentially hurt Tommy worse than any other person the man dated.

Tommy’s relaxed in his grip, gone soft and pliant and Adam loves that this affects Tommy as much as it affects him because he likes to hold the smaller man after he’s taken blood from him. It’s a connection he knows he can have for as long as he wants. He can touch and protect and _love_ this man as much as he wants to. Tommy will let him.

“We gotta go,” Tommy moves to get up, but Adam grabs the backs of thighs and stands up, wrapping Tommy’s legs around his waist while he walks them over to the fridge. He puts Tommy down and opens up the fridge to grab a bottle of water and another sandwich. He hands them to Tommy and then wraps his arms around the man’s waist from behind while he replenishes his energy.

He loves that Tommy lets him do this, too, lets him hold him and do things for him even though he knows Tommy can do them himself. He rests his head on Tommy’s shoulder and watches as he bites the sandwich, the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallows the food and water.

“You’re staring again,” Tommy teases, and Adam is jolted from his thoughts of biting the man’s neck again. He looks up into the vanity mirror and is stuck staring at what he sees. Tommy fits in his arms so perfectly, like he was meant to be there, like he was made for Adam. They look like they’re together, like they revolve around each other in the mirror, a separate universe to the one they’re living, but Adam can see it in the mirror, in that universe. They look great together.

“Adam? Babyboy, what’s wrong?” Tommy is looking at him through the mirror and he looks concerned.

“Nothing,” Adam replies quickly. “Just waiting for you to finish. Are you done?”

Tommy nods his head and Adam lets go of him so that he can put his shirt on. “Come on, we have a show to do.” Adam watches the muscles of Tommy’s back work as he pulls the shirt over his head and his cock twitches at the thought of putting the blonde under him and making those muscles work in a different way.

* * *

He’s hard and aching from the show and he doesn’t know if he wants Adam to feed from him again or just let everything subside until it’s a small buzz underneath his skin. Ever since Adam fed from his neck, it’s become a habit for Adam to come to him.

Everything that Adam was worried about hasn’t happened. He hasn’t become over possessive of Tommy or anything and it makes something in Tommy lift up, like a burden.

He gets off the stage and moments later, Adam’s pressed to his back, rubbing his arms, face pressing into his neck and he tries to just breathe, because he wants this so much and it’s making him a little nervous. He doesn’t want this to go too far. Adam may be his in terms, but he doesn’t know if he wants it to go as far as he feels it might. He needs to get control back.

“Awesome show, baby. You were great,” Adam whispers into his ear, hands roaming all over Tommy’s stomach and this icy feeling rushes through Tommy’s body, his nervousness of Adam getting a little too close coming to the surface and he moves out of Adam’s hold and turns around, smiling up at him.

“It was awesome! I can’t wait for tonight! We going out or staying in?” Tommy asks, moving back a little bit to give them some space. Adam just moves closer, though, gets his hands on Tommy’s waist and he smiles up at him.

“I think everyone wants to go out, so if you want to, we can join them.” Adam rubs circles into his hips and that soothes his nervous feeling a little bit.

“Yeah, no, we should go with them, it could be fun.” Tommy smiles and breathes a sigh of relief when Ashley and Isaac bound off the stage, heading toward them.

“What a show!” Isaac says, bouncing on the balls of his toes and grabbing Tommy’s arms to pull him over to him and Ashley. He laughs and goes, tucking himself under their arms while Adam walks with them down the hall to the dressing rooms. Tommy smiles over at Adam and gets a tight one in return. He furrows his eyebrows, but Adam shakes his head.

“I’m going to go get ready. I’ll meet you guys at the club,” Adam says, walking right past them to his dressing room and what the fuck? Adam was all clingy just moments ago. What changed?

“What’s wrong with the boss man?” Ashley asks. Isaac just shrugs and they both look at Tommy who raises his eyebrow at them and then catches on to what they’re implying he should know.

“Oh. I don’t know. He was completely fine when we got off stage. Maybe he got rush of exhaustion at the last minute?” Tommy says, walking to his dressing room. “I’ll talk to him when we head to the club, see if maybe he wants to sit this one out.”

Isaac hums under his breath and heads to his room across from Tommy’s. “Maybe he feels neglected or something. I mean we did take his boyfriend away from him when they were being all cuddly.”

Tommy furrows his eyebrows at their chuckles and snorts. “Adam doesn’t have a boyfriend.” Isaac raises his eyebrow and Tommy’s face turns blood red as a blush washes over him and his body heats up. “We’re not together! I’m just helping him out.”

“With what?” Ashley asks, stopping next to Isaac and looking at Tommy.

Tommy sighs and looks at them. “I’m sorta Adam’s go to for when he needs to feed, but he fed before the show so he’s not thirsty or anything. I made sure of that.”

Their eyes go comically wide and they both look at each other. “Dude, Tommy, you’re his donor? Holy fuck, that’s why he walked off all pissy and shit. Dude, no, maybe you guys should stay at the hotel or something,” Isaac says wearily.

“Why, he’s fine. He’ll feed before we leave and he’ll be good to go.” Tommy doesn’t get where they’re coming from with the little freak out realization thing going on. Adam’s fine and if he’s not, Tommy will ask him if he wants to feed and then everything will be right again.

“Dude,” Isaac shakes his head. “Man, he’s gonna be all over you, making sure no one touches you or gets near you. He’s gonna be really clingy and shit. I know, Sophie has a sister whose husband was like that after she offered to be his donor. You’re not gonna like it, Tommy,” Isaac says as he keeps shaking his head. “I should have known that was what was going on when you said you were going to be staying in Adam’s rooms from now on. Fuck, man!”

Tommy is royally confused now. What’s Adam being possessive got to do with going out? Of course Adam will be all over him, but it’s not like he’s gonna kill someone. Unless… Tommy shakes his head. “You mean to tell me he’ll kill someone if they touch me? What the fuck, Isaac? He’s not homicidal or some shit!”

“Tommy, he stormed off when we took you away from him to walk with us down the hall. He’s a little pissed right now, honey,” Ashley says. “Maybe you should go talk to him, let him know it wasn’t anything like us trying to take you away from him.”

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” Cam walks over to them and the tension between the three of them has her raising her eyebrow. “Never mind, I’ll see you guys at the club.” She walks away and when she does, Tommy answers.

“I’ll talk to him when I get ready.” Tommy sighs and closes his door, stripping out of his clothes and going into the small bathroom. He gets in the shower and washes off the stage, cleans his hair and body, then gets out.

When he walks back into the room, Adam is there with a smile on his face and it scares the shit out of Tommy. “Fuck, Adam! Warning next time would be nice!”

Adam laughs and comes up to Tommy, ruffling his hair a little bit and he seems completely fine, not pissed off or anything, but Tommy’s really not paying any attention because he’s more worried about being naked in front of Adam with only a towel to cover the goods.

“I’m just gonna get dressed and then we can head out, okay?” Tommy grabs his things and heads back to the bathroom, dressing quickly. When he finishes, he does his hair and makeup as fast as he can and then he’s out of the bathroom, grabbing Adam’s hand to pull him out of the door.

~*~*~*~

The club really isn’t that bad and Tommy’s a little excited. He told Adam that he wanted him to feed off him before they went so that he didn’t feel any kind of temptation, because they don’t need a repeat of last time to happen.

They’re not even in the club for more than an hour before Tommy’s on his way to a little drunk and is plastered to Adam’s side because Adam won’t let go of him. He looks up at him and says, “Babyboy, I’m good. Go have some fun.”

“I’m having fun right here, baby. Wanna keep an eye on you so you don’t get hurt or lost or anything.” Adam smiles down at Tommy and rubs their noses together before he lets his grip loosen a fraction and Tommy moves his way out of his hold, then gets up to go to the bar for another shot of whatever he has when someone comes up next to him.

“Hey, wanna dance?” the guy asks and Tommy turns to him, shaking his head before he grabs his drink and heads back to Adam’s side, tucking himself under Adam’s arm.

“What did the meathead want?” Adam asks as soon as Tommy’s comfortable.

He shrugs and takes a drink. “Wanted to know if I wanna dance and I said no.” Tommy turns and smirks at Adam, adding playfully, “What, jealous?”

Adam furrows his eyebrows and sighs. “Yes, very. I don’t like it that he wanted you to dance with him.”

Tommy smiles and kisses Adam’s cheek. “Don’t worry, baby. Like we’ve discussed before, I’m all yours.” It seems to calm Adam down a little bit and Tommy’s cool with that, taking another gulp of his drink.

Right before they get ready to leave, the same guy comes up to Tommy and smiles at him. “Hey, want that dance now?”

Before Tommy can answer, Adam’s got him by the arm and he’s staring daggers at the guy. “He’s not interested. Back off.” And holy fuck, Adam was right about being jealous. Tommy thought he was just trying to pull his leg, but fuck if that’s not equally hot as it is scary.

The guy raises an eyebrow and smirks at Adam. “Not like you have any claim on him. And you don’t need to talk for him. I was asking him, not you.”

Before Adam can say anything, Tommy grabs his arm and pushes him toward the door, happy that Adam follows his silent command because he wouldn’t have been able to do that otherwise. “I said no before, and that’s still my answer. We were just leaving.”

He turns to leave with Adam and feels the guy grab his arm. “Come on, baby, just one dance.”

“Hey! Get off –” Before Tommy can finish, Adam’s got the guy shoved against the wall next to them, baring his teeth and hissing at the guy.

“I suggest you not touch what’s mine, otherwise you’ll give me a fucking _reason_ to rip that pretty little throat of yours out. He said no, now get lost before you regret your decision to press further than you should.” Adam shoves the guy back and the guy rights himself before he starts to walk away.

“Fucking vampires, think they own everyone,” the guys spits and Adam starts heading for the guy, but Tommy’s got him by the arm, hand on his face to turn Adam’s head to him, trying to get him to look at Tommy before he does something he’s gonna regret. “Baby, come on, look at me, please, Adam, look at me.” When Adam does, he rubs his cheek with his thumb and smiles sweetly. “Come on, let’s get outta here, yeah?”

Adam nods and they’re walking out of the club sooner rather than later and Tommy’s grateful that Adam’s not resisting because Tommy won’t be able to hold him back if he decides to actually do what he threatened to the guy.

~*~*~*~

When they get back to the hotel, Tommy says he’s gonna go for a quick shower to wash the club sweat and alcohol off of him.

When he walks back into the room, Adam’s on the chair, staring at his reflection. He grabs ahold of the towel around his waist because it comes loose and says, “Hey, babyboy, you okay?”

Adam doesn’t say anything and Tommy goes about, pulling clothes on and fishing for a clean pair of boxers. When he gets them, he puts them on under the towel and pulls them up, dropping the towel to grab his pajama pants. “What’s wrong, Adam?”

Tommy’s looking at Adam staring at his reflection, but Adam’s stare cuts right through him when he looks at Tommy and Tommy can honestly say that he’s scared of that look. Adam’s eyes are purple, his skin pale, and he looks like he’s a little unfocused. Tommy takes a step back, but all he hears is the blood rushing through his head and a small hiss coming from Adam. “Adam, come on, dude. You’re scaring me. What’s up?”

Adam gets up and turns to Tommy, his eye piercing Tommy in a way they haven’t before and he stumbles back against the wall, grabbing for anything behind him to hold on to before he falls flat on his ass.

Adam tilts his head and whispers something to himself before he walks toward Tommy in smooth movements. A hair’s away from Tommy face, he whispers, “Help me.”

Tommy’s mind goes over a hundred different scenarios, all of which end with Adam feeding from him and it being the most painful thing ever, but still, like it’s been rehearsed, he bares his throat to Adam and waits, fear rolling through him in waves.

Adam’s eyes go a brighter purple and what he says next has Tommy’s blood running cold. “You smell better coated in fear, you know that?”

Tommy shakes his head, but still stares at Adam, whispering,” Adam, what wrong? You’re scaring me. Why don’t we just go to bed. You’ve got to be exhausted after tonight.”

“I just need you, for a few minutes I need you.” Adam leans closer and wraps his hands around Tommy, face pushed close to his neck, but his grip isn’t any tighter than it normally is. “You’re mine, right?”

Possessive. Adam’s mad and really upset right now. All Tommy wants to do, feels he needs to do is agree with Adam because, well, yeah, he is Adam’s, has told Adam that. “Yes,” he hisses when Adam licks up his neck, his cock taking an interest in what Adam’s doing, making him feel like he’s floating before he gets ready to bite into Tommy’s neck. Tommy doesn’t want to feel pain, but he thinks it’s probably gonna happen this time.

“Baby,” Adam whispers before he sinks his teeth in and Tommy moans so loudly, he’s sure everyone in the hotel can hear him. He grabs onto Adam’s arms and holds on, eyes squeezed tight to welcome the pain he thinks is going to blossom, but nothing happens. If anything, the pleasure intensifies ten-fold and Tommy can’t take it. He bucks against Adam so hard, the friction almost makes him go over the edge.

He needs to take control back, needs to make sure Adam knows that Tommy’s got control, too. “Adam, stop, that’s enough.” But Adam doesn’t listen, just keeps going, sucking lightly and pressing closer, pushing his thigh in between Tommy’s and he moans out, riding slowly, thrusting against Adam because it’s there and he wants the friction.

“Adam, baby, you need to quit now. Adam… Adam… Come on, fuck!” Tommy tries to push at Adam, but he moans and the sound melts Tommy against the wall, plaint and willing because that’s what Adam needs right now. He’s thirsty and Tommy wants to help him, never mind everything Adam makes him feel; protected, loved, safe, _turned on beyond belief_. Adam’s his, he’s Adam, that should be enough.

He blanks his mind out and takes everything Adam’s giving him, riding his orgasm out on Adam’s thigh when it reaches to the point where he can’t hold back, clinging to Adam while he clings to Tommy’s neck, sucking mouthful after mouthful of blood this time, and then everything goes black, his orgasm hitting him so hard he passes out.

His head is killing him when he comes back to himself. Fainting from an orgasm seems like something a teenager would do, but with the heightened pleasure, the friction, and the fact that Adam was feeding from him, sent him over the edge and into darken bliss.

When he opens his eyes, he’s in bed and Adam’s pacing the room with hurt, pain, and anger written all over his face. The moment he sees him, Tommy remembers what happened. Adam wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t quit feeding when Tommy told him to and he’d passed out from having the greatest orgasm of his life, but he doesn’t think that’s why Adam looks like he’s beating himself up.

Maybe he thinks he took too much blood. Tommy doesn’t think he did, because Adam didn’t start violently sucking until Tommy reached orgasm, but he doesn’t know what to think because Adam seems to be doing all of that for the both of them at the moment.

“Adam?” Tommy whispers softly, but Adam seems to have heard him, because he’s by his side in a matter of seconds, stroking his face, apologizing, swearing up a storm, and if vampires could cry, he’s sure Adam would be doing it right now.

“God, baby, I fucked up, I’m so sorry. I knew this would happen, but so soon and fuck, so horribly! I’m so sorry, Tommy, god, I can’t believe I did that,” Adam rambles and Tommy hugs him because he knows Adam needs it and after what he just went through, he needs one, too. His feelings for Adam are getting a lot stronger and that’s like a mind fuck of its own for him, because this is all new to him.

“Why didn’t you stop? I told you you were scaring me, but you wouldn’t listen and then, fuck, you start teasing me and pushing against me and…” Tommy trails off because his face turns red and he can feel the heat coming off of it in waves.

Adam grabs his face and kisses him, so soft yet hard and perfect and he hasn’t kissed Adam like this in what feels like forever, but a nervous feeling washes over because they’re going too fast and he tries to ignore it when Adam licks into his mouth, almost forgets about it when he nips at his lips, but it comes back full force when Adam starts pushing, climbing over Tommy’s body, over him and he feels safe and terrified at the same time. He’s never done anything like this with a man.

He’s grinded against Adam while he fed, but this isn’t about feeding, hell, Tommy has no clue what this is about, just that Adam seems desperate and he feels desperate as well. He pulls back from Tommy’s mouth, and he heaves in a breath before Adam’s back again, stealing it from him and rubbing his sides, raising his shirt a little bit to touch skin.

Tommy moans out and pushes back against Adam. “Stop, too fast, Adam.”

Adam tenses, the hands on Tommy’s sides rubbing soft circles into them freezing, and Adam’s like a block over him before he moves away. Tommy grabs him and pulls him back. “No, you were going too fast, but I have no problem with kissing you, babyboy.”

Adam kisses him again and makes a pained noise like it’s killing him to hold back and Tommy doesn’t know what to do other than run his hands down Adam’s back in hopes of soothing him. He’s surprised when Adam goes back to rubbing his side, but doesn’t think anything of it until he feels Adam’s hand rubbing over his nipple under his shirt and the other one reaching underneath the waistband of his pants, touching the soft skin there right above his cock.

He’s severely turned on, but again, it’s too much for him and he freaks out. He pulls back from Adam’s mouth and shoves at him. “Adam, come on, don’t.”

“Fuck, do you see that, Tommy? This is what I was talking about. I can’t get enough of you, can’t stop myself from touching you, wanting to feed from you, getting so fucking jealous of everyone touching you that I almost _kill_ them,” Adam says, moving off of him so fast, he actually feels a waft of air, making his whole body shiver.

“Adam, we talked about this –” Adam cuts Tommy off.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t hurt you, it’ll _kill_ me. I can’t control myself around you. I _need_ you too much! This has to stop, we can’t keep doing this.” Adam’s pacing back and forth and Tommy feels like his heart stops beating. Adam wants to stop this? All because he’s scared to go that far with Adam?

Tommy doesn’t move, just stares at the ceiling, because he can’t move, can’t think. He feels like he’s just ruined everything.

Adam keeps going. “I’ll stick to my blood bags on the tour bus, wait until we’re home to figure out the rest. It’s fine, thank you for helping me for as long as you did. I know these last few months have been stressful, so we need to stop this, go back to being just best friends who rock in a band together. We can do that, right?” Adam looks almost hopeful when Tommy looks at him, like stepping away from this and going back to the way things were before won’t make a difference, like everything will be as it once was.

Tommy doesn’t know if he can do that. He’s sprouted feeling for Adam, feelings he’s afraid of, but also feelings he doesn’t want to go away, to have to forget. He can’t do anything about this, though. Adam seems to be set on this and he doesn’t have to accept it, but he has to go along with it and hope that Adam comes back to his senses because they’ve been fine, only had a few minor setbacks and he feels like maybe that’s what’s scaring Adam.

They knew from the beginning that this wasn’t going to be a walk in the park, knew there were going to be problems along the way.

Tommy feels hurt that Adam wants to give this up over a few obstacles is the road. He moves his eyes back to the ceiling and the away from it and looks over at Adam who’s right next to him, but not touching him and not sitting next to him and he misses the closeness already, can feel an ache where every mark Adam has ever made on his body is. This is going to be hard.

“Okay, yeah, maybe we should take a break, give things the time to adjust and then maybe we can come back to this in better spirits,” Tommy whispers, sitting up in the bed. The room spins a little, but he ignores it because he has to get away from Adam or he feels like he might break apart. He doesn’t need to be vulnerable in front of him, doesn’t want to show weakness where it hurts the most. “I’ll, uh, just… Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning.”

Tommy gets up and runs his hands through his hair, his jeans feeling incredibly uncomfortable from the orgasm he had. God, it feels like hours since that happened, but it couldn’t have be no more than a few minutes because he doesn’t feel like he was out of it for very long and he hopes like fuck Isaac is here or still at the club because he needs to talk and he needs a fucking drink.

He turns around and smiles as best as he can at Adam but it neither reaches his eyes or his lips, so he just turns back and walks out of the door, a sigh escaping from the room he’s leaving before the door closes between him and the person he thinks just broke his heart.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long! As we've said before, this story was a breather from our CBB, but since we got off our writer's block and wrote more of CBB, this was left on the back burner. We've figured there's a few more chapter(maybe 6 or 7?) left and then it's over. Again, sorry for the delay, but the good news it that our CBB is completed!! That means more vampy!! LOL!!

With every step that Tommy takes away from Adam’s door, his mind races with thoughts of hurt, anger and regret. This was _not_ supposed to happen. This was just supposed to be Tommy helping Adam out, but instead he feels as if his heart has been crushed and that he’s the one that totally fucked up the best friendship he’s ever had. 

“Please, please, please be here,” he whispers under his breath as he knocks on Isaac’s door. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do if he’s not back yet. Tommy knows he’s in no condition to go back to the club, plus he really _doesn’t_ want to take the chance of running into the ass who wouldn’t take no for an answer. He doesn’t even feel like he needs a drink anymore, just to clear some of the thoughts out of his head. He can feel the burn of tears welling up in his eyes as the door opens up and he comes face to face with Isaac. 

“Tommy?” Isaac asks with a look of confusion on his face. 

“I... Fuck... Can I come in?” Tommy asks quietly, like if he talks too loudly the whole world will know his secret. He wipes at him eyes, hoping that his make-up isn’t running or anything. Seeing Isaac should help, because he needs to let _something_ out.

Tommy walks into the room after Isaac steps out of the way without saying anything. He can see the look of concern on Isaac’s face, and he’s sure Isaac has some idea about what’s going on. He knows what happened after the show and at the club, but Tommy doesn’t know if he wants to hear about what happened when he and Adam got back. 

“I think I really fucked up, Isaac. I just... It wasn’t supposed to... And now it has... And, fuck,” Tommy babbles out. He knows he isn’t making any sense, but he’s torn up with emotions right now, so how is he supposed to put a coherent thought together? He falls on to Isaac’s bed face first, hiding from him -- even though he came to talk --, from the world, from everything that he does _not_ want to face right now. 

“Tommy, what is going on?” Isaac asks as he carefully sits on the bed next to Tommy. “Not that I mind you coming here, but um, why aren’t you with Adam, and are you sure he’s not gonna lose it when he finds out you’re here?” 

Tommy turns his head just enough to see Isaac looking down at him with a look of confusion and a hint of fear. Tommy gets it; he knows that fear, felt it himself just a little bit ago. He hates that he’s allowed Adam to scare him like that, but even more that Adam’s gotten so possessive that his friends are afraid to even talk to him. He needs to fix this, fix everything that he’s managed to fuck up the moment he told Adam he would be his donor. Tommy just wants everything to go back to the way it was before he saw the look of desperation in Adam’s eyes when he first fed from him. 

“I fucked up. Like really bad, Isaac. I just wanted to help him, ya know. It wasn’t supposed to be this intense, this,” Tommy shudders a little, “frightening.”

“Tommy, what the fuck happened tonight? You’re really starting to freak me out. Talk to me. What happened after the two of you left the club?”

“It’s not just tonight, Isaac, it’s everything that’s happened in the last few months. I just never...” Tommy trails off, stopping himself from saying the words that he’s hardly accepted himself. He never meant to feel this way about Adam, but how does he explain why he’s freaking out without giving Isaac every detail about _everything_? “I just never expected things to change this much.”

Isaac looks at Tommy and shakes his head a little, not in a demeaning kind of way, more of like a _what have you gotten yourself into_ kind of way. Tommy gives him a small smile, hoping it will fix everything, but he really should know better than to think that just smiling at Isaac will stop him from being so concerned. 

“Oh, no, you aren’t getting off that easy, pretty boy. Spill it. You came here to talk, so talk, please. What is going on inside of that head of yours? You don’t get to come knocking on my door at ass o’clock in the morning looking like a disaster struck and then _not_ tell me what’s going on. You can stay here, that’s not a problem, but you aren’t sleeping until I know what the fuck happened and what kind of mess we’re gonna be facing in the morning when we see Adam again.”

Tommy takes in a breath and lets it out really slowly before he rolls onto his back. He can’t look as Isaac while he tells him this, it’s just too much and too personal and just _way_ more information than he ever thought he would be sharing with his friend. He lays there on his back, staring up at the white ceiling, hoping that maybe it’ll have all the answers he’s looking for. He gives up after a moment, almost laughing at the thought that he’s turned to white hotel ceilings for advice on his life. 

“So you know how Adam was all possessive after the show, right? And then stormed off? When I got out of the shower after you and Ashley talked with me, he was there and he seemed fine, all smiles and it kind of freaked me out a little, but I didn’t think too much about it. And then that guy at the club tried to get me to dance with him, and well, you saw all that. It took everything I had to pull him out of there, Isaac. It was really scaring me. I thought for sure Adam was gonna kill that guy,” Tommy pauses and he can feel Isaac’s eyes on him and he’s just waiting for the ‘I told you so’ to come out. He doesn’t want to hear it, knows that Adam warned him about the possessiveness and that Isaac and Ashley told him not to come to the club in the first place, and also that he didn’t listen. He already has that guilt, so he doesn’t want Isaac pointing it out to him; it’s not what he came here for. 

“We got back to the hotel and he looked crazed. It was like he had no control. He asked me to help him, from what, I didn’t know, but I guessed. His bloodlust was almost out of control. He was so focused on me and my scent that he got turned on from me being so scared. I didn’t know what to do, Isaac. I had to calm him down, go with what he needed.”

“Fuck, did he hurt you, Tommy? I don’t care who he is or what the two of you agreed to, he does not need to hurt you,” Isaac says out with so much concern and pissed off anger, it has Tommy feeling guilty for making him worry. 

“No, it wasn’t like that. He said he just needed to be with me, to make sure I was still his. He kept asking like he doubted everything. He fed again and it was so intense this time.” Tommy stops again because, fuck, he feels like he needs to tell Isaac what happened, but this is so embarrassing. He can already feel his face blushing. “He was on top of me and I got so fucking hard, dude. It’s never been like this. I haven’t gotten this turned on from him feeding from me before and it freaked me out. He wouldn’t stop when I kept asking him to and he kept feeding and fuck, before I knew it, I was coming so hard, it made me black out. Adam totally freaked out when I woke up, and he was apologizing like I’ve never heard him do before.”

Tommy just stops and takes a deep breath. It’s like he’s reliving this all over again, the fear and the uncertainty rushing through him, followed by the guilty feeling of coming from Adam feeding off him. He lays there for a moment, collecting his thoughts before he continues on. “He kissed me, Isaac, not like any kiss we’ve had before. I’m fine with that. Fuck, you know that, but he just couldn’t stop. His hands were everywhere, everything was moving so fast. I kept stopping him, but he just couldn’t control himself, or he was trying to prove a point, I’m not sure which, maybe both. Then he started rambling about how he couldn’t stop touching me, how much he needed me and that this couldn’t work. He said it was over, that we can’t do this anymore. He’s afraid he’s going to hurt me, or kill me, but fuck, he already has hurt me, Isaac. I can’t do this, pretend like nothing happened, like we don’t have this connection, like I don’t have this _need_ to be with him.”

Tommy can feel the tears welling up in his eyes again and he blinks, trying to force them away. No matter how much he’s told himself that he’s _never_ had feelings for Adam other than friendship, he knows it’s a lie, that they have always had a connection that was more than just friends. And now it’s like he’s losing everything, his best friend and this thing they had that was almost like a relationship but not exactly. And to have it happen just after they almost but not quite had sex, just feels like a slap across his face. 

“He’s kind of right, Tommy. It’s dangerous being a donor, no matter who you are. It’s even more dangerous for you as close as you and Adam are to each other. That doesn’t mean he handled this in the best way, though. Maybe a break would be better for you, do you both some good, give you time to figure out if you really want this, if you _really can_ live with him being possessive. You know, he’s always been that way when it came to you, come to think of it. I saw how much more he was even before I knew what the two of you were doing and I thought it was just because you guys were dating. I had no clue that you offered to be his donor. I know it sucks, but just give it some time, okay? If he needs anything, he can come to me and I’ll help him out, but that doesn’t mean I’m turning into his donor.”

“But it’s not as simple as just that anymore, Isaac. It’s become more than just being his donor, well at least for me. I’ve never felt this way about a guy, and I don’t know if it’s Adam feeding from me that makes me feel this way about him or if I really have feelings for him,” Tommy says as he huffs out a breath, wishing that Isaac could just read his mind, it would make this so much easier. Trying to find words to explain the intense and confusing feelings he has for Adam is a lot harder than he thought it would be. “I feel crushed right now, like worse than any break up I’ve ever been through and we weren’t even _really_ together. I don’t want this to end, I don’t want to walk away and wonder ‘what if’, you know? I just... Fuck. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Just don’t think of this as a break up. It’s a break, for you both to get a breather, get your heads on straight and then go from there. Nothing is stopping you from being his donor again. I think it will do you both some good. I think you both might have kinda jumped into this faster than you should have,” Isaac says so matter of factly that Tommy can’t see anyway to argue with him. “This will give you a chance to figure out if you really want this and for you to figure out what all these new feelings are about.”

Tommy knows what Isaac is saying makes sense, but it doesn’t make it any easier. He still wants to run back to Adam’s room, to make him understand everything he’s feeling even if he can’t find the words, but he pushes those thoughts back into his mind. He can do a break, it’s not the end, it’s just some time off from the intense relationship that came out of this so fast. 

“You know it will work out, right, Tommy? Just don’t push it, okay? Now, let’s get some sleep. It’s been a long day,” Isaac says as he digs out some sleep pants for Tommy to put on. 

By the time Tommy has showered and fallen into bed, he’s more than ready for sleep. He curls up next to Isaac seen as how there’s only one bed, and his last thought before sleep overtakes him is the kiss Adam gave him and how different it was, how it made him feel like maybe, just maybe, Adam felt the same way.


	8. Chapter 8

Adam doesn’t know what to do or how to feel. His world feels like it’s tilted on an axis and he can’t seem to get it aligned again. It would be so much easier to apologize to Tommy, tell him that he was sorry for everything, getting into something so complicated without knowing all the risks involved, but he can’t.

Knowing that he hurt Tommy is enough to keep Adam away from him, give him the space he needs, because Adam’s the one that fucked up. He thinks that maybe if time could be turned back, he’d be different, but then again, it’s still him, still the same situation and still going to turn out the same way no matter what he does, because he’s a jealous bastard who can’t keep his possessiveness to himself. He knows.

But how can he tell Tommy that he’s so much of what Adam wants that he can’t control himself because he truly doesn’t have it until Tommy says _it’s yours, take it_ , and he never will. 

He’s thirsty, sad, and too damn tired to go out looking for anything so the only thing he can think to do it lay down in the spot Tommy left from and close his eyes, hope that everything between him and Tommy won’t be as complicated in the morning.

* * *

Seeing Tommy latched to Isaac’s side like a lifeline prepared to go flat is heartbreaking and Adam can’t take it. So when he sees them walk toward the table he’s at during breakfast, he gets up, avoids the situation and goes on a walk to clear his head. What good it’ll do, he doesn’t know, because clearing his head gives him more space to fill it up with thoughts of doubt and guilt and _need_. 

He just wants more from Tommy, more than he can ask for, and more than he thinks Tommy can give. It should be easy. It’s not. Far from it.

He somehow makes his way to a park he wasn’t aiming for when he started walking, but he walks through it, smells different things like lilac, sap, and young blood. When he looks to his right, he comes up next to a bench and sits down, staring at the space ahead of him.

He wishes he played an instrument, because he wants to be able to express himself by nothing but the sound of something he’s forcing to cry out. He’s not crazy, he just wants to bend something to his will besides his own voice.

The kids playing on the playground across the way give him some peace of mind. He loves to watch the excitement on their faces. It’s strange; he’s never felt bloodlust for a child, never wanted anything to do with feeding from them, so it’s easier to be around them than it is to be around an adult.

He smiles at a kid running up the jungle-jim and across the rubber bridge toward the small slide. His gray shirt gets caught on one of the bolts and he frowns, but tugs and the smile that’s back on his face looks like it never left.

Everything around him is full of light, happiness, and sound, but he’s full of dark, sad emotion that he wants to expel, but doesn’t know how.

He startles when someone sits next to him, having not sensed anyone coming near him, too lost in thought. It’s even more surprising to see Isaac staring ahead like he was, but he doesn’t speak, knows Isaac will do that for the both of them.

And he’s not wrong. It doesn’t take long to hear a sigh and then Isaac says, “You know, when I first started dating Sophie, it was so rough on me. I couldn’t look at her without thinking _why me_. How could she choose someone like me?”

Adam huffs out a small laugh. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

Isaac nods his head when Adam looks over at him. “Yeah, I know. But I felt unworthy, like she could have chosen someone so much better to spend the rest of her life with.”

Yeah, that about sums up what Adam’s feeling right now; not worthy of anything anyone gives to him, because he always seems to fuck it up.

“I talked to Tommy.”

Adam nods, because what can he say? He saw them.

“What’s wrong?”

Adam looks at him before looking back at the children ahead of him. “Exactly what was wrong with you when you first started dating Sophie, but so much more.” He doesn’t know what else to say. How do you gather up all the emotion you’re feeling and put it into words that someone can understand? It feels impossible.

“Why did you end things with Tommy, then?” Isaac scratches his wrists, staring at Adam like he can see through him and it’s unsettling to be so open and to have someone read you like that. He wants to pull something over himself, hide from prying eyes, but he’s not that kind of person. He doesn’t hide himself; he’s an open book.

“It became more than what it was supposed to be,” he says, looking at Isaac’s face to see if he’s as open as Adam feels. He is, and he’s confused.

“And what was more?”

“Everything, my need, my power, I became too much to put on someone else and I couldn’t do that to Tommy. I couldn’t hurt him like that.” He doesn’t want to talk about this, but he can’t seem to stop the words from falling off his lips.

“You’re blind if you can’t see everything that’s in front of your face. That boy adores you to death and you’re letting him walk away, pushing so that you can’t get too close like you had been. Stop, stop hurting yourself and stop hurting him.”

It should be that simple, but it’s not, nothing ever is. “I love him.” Like it’s supposed to solve all of his problems, he throws it out there. Hats off to the wolves.

Isaac huffs and shakes his head with mirth. “You have a funny fucking way of showing it.”

“I can’t talk about this. It’s too... I don’t know, personal? Intimate? Not something I want to discuss right now.” Adam stands and isn’t surprised when Isaac does, too.

“You can’t run away from this. Yeah, you need time, hell both of you do, but what are you going to do about needing to feed?” Isaac is concerned, it’s written all over his face and clinging to his words like acid.

“I don’t know. I’ll think of something.” And then a pause later, like he’s thought about it, he looks at Isaac. “Will you help me?”

“Not like Tommy did. You come to me when you absolutely _need_ it or you’re gonna die, and yeah, I’ll help you out.” Should he feel better about this? Because he doesn’t. It’s worse actually, like his body’s about to protest and he hasn’t done anything.

“Thank you,” he says, and he means it, doesn’t know if he can express gratitude in any other way.

“Yep, but first, you need to tell me why you broke it off with Tommy.” Isaac walks next to him when they start back for the hotel. It gives him time to think, to process exactly what he wants to say and how he wants to say it.

“I needed him too much and it scared me. I tried forcing him when I’m never like that and it scared him as well as me. I’m terrified. I don’t know what to do, how to act around him without wanting to put him under me like some piece of meat.” He didn’t mean to say that, wants to take it back because he’d never think of Tommy as just something to get his hands dirty with and then throw away like he means nothing at all.

He turns to Isaac, apology on his lips, but Isaac shakes his head. “I know what you meant, Adam.”

He sighs. “I’m sorry.”

Isaac shrugs and Adam puts his hands in the front pockets of his jeans as they walk. “For what?”

“All that I’ve put Tommy and the band through. I’m not worth the love you guys give me.”

“You’re worth every damn inch of love we give you.” Isaac tugs him into a sideways hug by the waist and Adam wraps an arm around his shoulder, squeezing his thanks. He likes being loved, feeling it.

“So what are you going to do about Tommy?” Isaac asks before they open the doors to the hotel.

Adam shrugs, because he doesn’t know. He wants to go to him, hold him and say he’s sorry, but he doesn’t think Tommy wants to see him right now. After what he’s put the man through, he wouldn’t want to see himself either. “I don’t know.”

* * *

His thirst does become unbearable a few days later when they’re getting ready for a show. He hasn’t talked to Tommy since then, because the blonde doesn’t stay in the same room with him long enough for him to get a word out, but the pain and confusion coming from him hurts Adam a lot.

The burn comes a few hours later when he walks off the stage after having been so close to Tommy and not being able to just _touch_ him like he wants. It’s eating at him to just go up to Tommy and ask for him in more ways than just to feed, but he refrains from it.

When Isaac jumps down the stairs shouting, “Woo hoo, what an awesome fucking show!” Adam doesn’t know if he wants to go to Isaac because he looks so happy and Adam doesn’t want to bring him down, so he once again, ignores his hunger and puts on a fake smile. 

“Whoa, man! What’s wrong?” Isaac raises an eyebrow and then leans closer to Adam’s face. “Are your eye purple?”

Adam’s eyes go wide and he shushes Isaac. “Please, be quiet. I’m fine, it’s just from the show. When I get amped up, my thirst increases, but it’ll go away in a few once I’ve relaxed.”

Isaac looks at him before nodding slowly and then the rest of the band are coming off the stage and Adam looks at them, Tommy, and can see that he knows Adam needs to feed. His face changes from happiness to worry to blank in seconds.

Adam closes his eyes, wills the burn to go away and then he turns and swiftly walks to his dressing room. He can wait to feed. He has to.

* * *

Back on the bus and heading down the road, the burn has become a lit fire in his throat and Adam flinches when he swallows, pushes his face into the sheets of his mattress and holds his breath.

If he holds off much longer, he won’t be able to control himself. He swiftly gets up and walks out of his room, his face feeling like it’s breaking out into a cold sweat before he gets past the band in the bus living room and to the kitchen, opening up the fridge and grabbing his blood container. He has half of a bag, enough to sustain him for a few hours so that when they stop, he can get off the bus and feed.

He grabs the last pack, pours it into his coffee cup before putting it in the microwave. He leans against the counter and a pain bursts through his throat, his venom eating at his stomach and going up. He grunts and watches as the band’s heads pop up and look at him. He shakes his head, his fangs descending when the beeper goes off and he opens the door quickly.

When he turns around with the cup in his hands, he runs right into Ashley, spilling the blood all over her shirt and down the sides of their arms.

“Oh god, Adam. I’m so sorry!” Ashley says, grabbing a cloth to wipe up the blood from his arms and hers, ignoring her shirt all together.

Adam can’t breathe, can’t think, because that was the last of his blood until they stopped in a few hours. He looks at Ashley, the worried and sorry look on her face and shakes his head, forces out through the burn, “No, honey. It’s not your fault. I’m fine.” He forces the fakest smile he can and holds his breath as he kisses her cheek, making sure his fangs are covered.

He turns and walks back to his room, seeing the concerned looks on the faces of his friends. When he gets into his room, he falls onto his bed, curls into a ball and tries to think about what he’s going to do for the next few hours to try and forget about his insides being on fire and his need to feed.

A knock on his door pulls him from his thoughts and he swallows down his acidic saliva and clears his throat. “It’s open,” he croaks out, mouth dry.

“Adam? Oh my god, dude, what the fuck!” Someone’s by him in a second and he must look as bad as he feels because he’s got hands running through his hair and he looks up to see Isaac there with worried eyes. “Why didn’t you come to me?”

Adam smiles and says, “You said not to come to you unless I truly needed it, but it’s okay. We’ll be stopping in a few hours. I can wait till then.”

Isaac groans and shakes his head. “I wasn’t talking about to the point where you look like you’re about to _die_! Fuck, that was me being a total shit and joking! I didn’t mean it like that!”

Before Adam knows what’s going on, he’s got a wrist in front of his face and without thinking, he bites down and blood comes pouring into his mouth. He moans.

He can feel the way the blood courses through his veins and it nourishes him, and the ache that was there has lessened, but it’s still there. Isaac’s blood tastes weird, like coppery wheat and sand paper. It goes down his throat hard, and he wants to spit it back up, get the awful taste out of his mouth, but if he does that, it’s back to square one; starving himself.

When he takes as much as he can handle, he pulls back, licks the wound with a grimace on his face and whispers, “Thanks.”

Isaac pushes the hair out of his face and looks at him with worry. “Are you okay? Was that enough?”

Adam nods. “Yeah, it was enough, thank you. Is Ashley okay? She looked like I kicked her puppy back there.”

“She feels awful for running into you. Maybe you can go talk to her?” Isaac suggests and yeah, he needs to because he doesn’t want her to think that him needing the blood like that and losing it is her fault, because it’s not.

He gets up and they both go out into the living room. He sees Ashley curled up on the chair, her face pale with red around her eyes like she’s been crying and a pang of hurt settles into his stomach. He walks over to her and bends down. “Hey, don’t cry.”

She looks at him, her eyes swollen and watery from the tears getting ready to fall and he reaches up and rubs them away with his thumb. She closes her eyes and breathes through her mouth before she says, “I’m so sorry, Adam. I didn’t mean to bump into you. God, you looked so bad, like you needed it and when it dumped everywhere... I’m just so sorry.”

Her voice cracks at the end and he furrows his eyebrows, gathers her up into a hug that she clings to and he can feel her tears soak his shirt. “Don’t be sorry. It was an accident. I’m not mad, and I wasn’t then either. It’s okay.”

They stay like that for a moment, his hand in her hair. It makes him feel good that he’s surrounded by people that care, but he feels awful for making them feel like it’s their fault for needing blood like he does. He pulls back when her shoulders stop shaking and puts his hands on her face, wiping away the tears before he smiles. “You okay?”

She nods and sniffs, wiping her face before she looks at him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, Isaac helped me out, I’m good. Thank you for being concerned, though. It means a lot to me.” He smiles when a watery grin appears on her face and he kisses her cheek before he moves away from her and stands.

He looks at Cam and Isaac and they have smiles on their faces but also concern in their eyes. “I’m okay, guys, really.”

They nod and turn back to their movie, but Tommy’s still looking at Adam like he wants to talk. He doesn’t know if that’s a good idea yet, but he wants the blonde close to him again. He misses to cuddles and hugs they used to give each other.

“You okay now?” Isaac asks.

Adam nods. “I’m fine. Thanks.” He sighs, goes back to his room and shuts the door behind him. He wants so badly to go over to Tommy and just _talk_ to him, but he needs to give him space. He doesn’t like that at all, even if he was the one that made it this way.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have two more chapters after this and then it's over!! We hope you enjoyed this story as much as we've enjoyed writing it!! Thanks for all the lovely comments and kudos!! We love you all!! <333

Tommy doesn’t like it, Adam feeding from Isaac. He’s jealous as fuck because Isaac gets to feel only what Tommy wants to feel from Adam feeding from him. The pain it causes to be so far away from Adam and to know when Adam needs to feed but can’t come to him, is unreal. 

He wishes he had the courage to go up to Adam and tell him how he feels, that he thinks his feelings are real and not from Adam feeding from him. He wants to let Adam know that he doesn’t want him feeding from anyone but Tommy.

Watching for the past few weeks as Adam goes to Isaac when he needs to feed and Isaac patting him on the shoulder right before they get up to leave the room, makes Tommy’s marks burn, so he suspects that it’s their way of telling him that Adam needs to feed and also that he’s jealous as fuck. 

He never signed up for this; this _hunger_ for Adam’s teeth to be sunken into his skin. He just wanted to help his friend out and his feelings have complicated things.

Isaac tells him that everything is fine and he’ll know when the right time to talk is, but it doesn’t seem like it’s coming any time soon. He just sits back and watches, heart breaking every time, as Adam goes to Isaac for the things he needs. _It’s not fair_ , he thinks, _it should just be me that he comes to_.

Tuning his guitar at the moment feels like winding a string around his life so that he doesn’t have to bear looking up - he can see out of the corner of his eye that Adam’s going over to Isaac - just to watch them walk away. This has been the third time this week that Adam’s needed to feed and it’s worrying Tommy. Is he not getting enough from Isaac?

He stiffens when a hand lands on his shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts. He looks up to see Ashley there, sympathy written all over her face. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Tommy asks, pointedly looking down at his guitar.

“I can see how much that bothers you, Adam going to Isaac, and I just wanted to let you know that I’m here if you need or want to talk.” She squeezes his shoulder and he relaxes, smiling a little down at his guitar.

“I’m fine, just thinking about some things, but I’ll get over it,” Tommy whispers to her, looking up to see her smiling.

She nods before going back to her position and Tommy steps on his pedal board before he hits the right one and then he practices a few songs before Isaac and Adam return to rehearsal.

Isaac comes over to him, a chicken sandwich and a bottle of OJ in his hand. “Man, how did you do it?”

Tommy looks up at him with a frown. What? “How’d I do what?”

“Stay completely energized when... Yeah, you know.” Isaac cuts himself off and Tommy wonders if he knows that it hurts to hear about that.

“You always make sure you’ve eaten something beforehand, because it gives both you and him more energy. And make sure that after, you replenish that energy again, so that the next time, it won’t have as big of an effect on you that it did the other times. It gets easier when you learn how much he takes and calculate that into how much you eat.” Tommy plugs in a distortion pedal and then goes back to strumming his guitar, not looking up at Isaac. “Make sure you eat a good third more than he takes and you won’t feel a thing afterwards,” Tommy says off the top of his head and when he looks up at Isaac, his mouth is open, jaw slack, sandwich in midair before he shakes his head and looks at Tommy.

“How did you –”

“I was doing it for a long time, Isaac. I know what he’s like.” And if it comes out a little irritated, Tommy doesn’t care. He’s giving Isaac tips on Adam feeding from him and it doesn’t feel good at all. He knows that Isaac has helped them both, and he can hear his jealousy coming out through his words, but his mood just isn’t that great at the moment.

“I never knew that,” Isaac says and Tommy looks at Isaac, because he doesn’t understand what Isaac is saying right now. He’s not making any sense, because he knows how long Tommy was helping Adam out for. “Why didn’t you tell me, Tommy?” Isaac asks. “I wouldn’t have… God, I just wouldn’t have…”

“You could have just asked and I would have told you what to do. Just make sure you eat plenty before and after –” Isaac cuts Tommy off with a hand wave.

“What? No! Why didn’t you tell me that you’re in love with him? I can see it and hear it when you talk about him. All you said before was that you thought you had feelings for him.” 

“What? Shh Isaac, don’t -”

“No, I would have... Fuck, I don’t know what I would have done, but shit, dude! You could have _told_ me this! You know you can trust me, man!” Isaac’s voice has risen to where Tommy’s pretty sure everyone can hear and then he sees the heads of the band turn to look at them and cold ice runs down his back because Isaac just said that in front of _everyone_. He looks at Isaac before pulling his guitar off, setting it down and then he turns and walks out of rehearsal.

He’s not even four steps out of the door before Isaac’s running after him. “Tommy, wait! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say it in front of everyone! Come on!”

Tommy stops in the hall, turns to Isaac and it halts Isaac in his step. “I told you what I wanted you to know and what I knew at the time, Isaac. That doesn’t mean you needed to know everything. I confided in you and you just blew every fucking thing that I wanted kept a secret out of the window. Everyone knows now, okay? Thanks a lot,” Tommy whispers and then turns around, but Isaac grabs his arm.

“Tommy, please, I’m so sorry.”

Tommy pulls out of his hold and looks over his shoulder. “Go.”

“What? No Tommy, don’t blow me off like that!” Isaac says.

“And why not? I’ve been blown off ever since you and Adam… You know what? Whatever, just go back to him like I can’t and make sure he’s okay, because _I can’t_. I don’t want to see this shit anymore, Isaac! It’s fucking killing me every single time, okay? You were the one that said we needed a break and you know what? It feels like a fucking lifetime and another heart ago,” Tommy says, done pouring his fucking heart out. He turns back around and walks away and Isaac doesn’t stop him this time.

He gets out into the parking lot where the bus is and before he gets on to it, he stops at the door, everything he’s feeling bubbling underneath the surface and hot blistering tears start running down his face while his anger at himself overtakes him. He turns, walks the short distance to the building and just lets go, his anger and pain and jealousy getting slammed into the wall with every forceful blow he gives it.

He doesn’t fucking care anymore. Why should he care when no one else seems to? He keeps going until someone is screaming his name and wrapping their arms around him. He crumbles against them, bloody hands coming up to cover his face and he just lets go, lets everything out.

“Tommy,” Ashley says, squeezing him tightly. He turns and buries his face into her shirt, sick and tired of feeling like this and done with crying but he can’t help it, it just won’t stop. Ashley doesn’t talk to him, just rubs his back and makes shushing noises.

The hands in his hair feel amazing after not being touched for so long and he welcomes it, missing this direct connection with someone so much. “I’m so sorry, Ash.”

“Don’t be, Tommy. It’s not your fault. Come on, there’s a diner joint around the corner. Let’s get something to eat and we can talk, huh?” Ashley stands up and holds her hand out for Tommy to take. He looks up at her, tears blurring his vision and smiles a watery smile before grabbing her hand.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

* * *

The walk to the diner is silent, Tommy too lost in his thoughts and Ashley doesn’t ask. He appreciates the silence, the moments to compose himself before they get there. He feels reassured as he feels her hand in his, squeezing ever so slightly as if she’s saying _I’m still here_. He appreciates her right now more than he has since they met. 

They find a booth in the back corner, away from the noise of happy couples eating and enjoying each other. The older waitress comes over, not bothering with a put on smile, like she can sense that they don’t need it or want it. “Hey, guys. What would you like to drink? We have coke products and some juices.”

“Coke is fine,” Tommy whispers, looking down at his hands. Ashley orders the same and the waitress leaves them before coming back with their drinks.

“I’ll give you guys a few minutes to look over the menu. I’ll be back in a few.” When she walks away, Tommy takes a drink of his coke, coughing a little when it goes down the wrong tube.

“So, you’re mad, or hurt? What’s going on, honey?” says Ashley after Tommy calms his coughing down.

“A little of both, but I shouldn’t be. I’ve just been really moody lately and I’m taking it out on the wrong people. I really should apologize to Isaac. I didn’t mean to be so rude.” Tommy sighs, and runs a hand through his hair. He feels awful for how he reacted toward Isaac. He knew he wasn’t doing anything to spite Tommy.

“Is this about Isaac and Adam?” Ashley whispers, like she’s afraid he might get mad for asking and he hates that, doesn’t want anyone to be afraid of him.

“Mostly, yeah. I just...” he pauses and then sighs before he tells her everything he told Isaac. She listens and her eyes widen when he talks about Adam pushing him on their last night. When he talks about how he’s felt since Adam called it quits, she looks like she wants to say sorry, but lets him continue. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know we need time to think about this and trust me, I’ve thought long and hard about what Adam means to me. I can’t help but feel like he really ended it because he saw how being that close was affecting me and didn’t feel the same. I know he told me he needed me and that he didn’t want to hurt me, but I don’t know if that’s the whole truth.”

“Well, maybe he’s scared? Maybe he’s developed feelings for you that he thinks you don’t return and when feeding from you made him need you more, he just didn’t want to risk his heart getting broken?” Ashley suggests and it’s like she’s been watching them the whole time or can read their minds, because he’s thought of that, too. Adam had freaked out when Tommy passed out, wouldn’t stop trying to get more than what Tommy could offer at that time afterward, like he’d disappear if Adam didn’t keep him close.

“Is this my fault, though? Did I cause him to think that? Forget the whole straight thing for a moment, because I’m obviously pretty damn bendy, but what would you think or do if you were in Adam’s shoes?” Tommy asks.

“Honestly? I probably would have thought that I’d grown an attachment to you that was too unhealthy for me to continue without knowing how you felt. I’d be afraid to ask and yeah, I’d have ended it if I was scared and didn’t want to hurt you or myself. I’d do the same thing Adam’s done, but also, I’d have told you why I ended it.”

Tommy thinks about that. Adam never really told him why he ended it, just that he needed Tommy too much and didn’t want to hurt him. He kind of really wants to know more, if Adam was scared or if he saw that Tommy was scared. He wants to tell Adam that he needs him, too. He just really wants to talk to Adam, their break be damned.

They order when the waitress comes back and Ashley lets him talk about how he feels, about how he knows he’s in love with Adam, how his marks burn and how he feels like he needs Adam to feed from him as much as Adam needs or needed to feed from him.

“I think you guys have developed a connection stronger than donor and vampire. Maybe, I don’t know, he feels the same way about you and it basically tied you guys together? I’ve never heard of someone’s marks burning when their vampire hasn’t fed from them. It’s really strange, actually.” Ashley’s eyebrows draw together and she looks deep in thought.

Tommy eats him meal in silence, waiting for her to continue because it looks like she’s trying to work something out in her head and he doesn’t want to interrupt that.

“Where at has he fed from you before?” Ashley asks and Tommy looks up at her with a fry in mid bite.

“Uh, my wrists and my neck? Why?”

Ashley shakes her head. “I don’t know, like when he fed from you and you passed out from...” She looks around and then whispers, “coming, where was it?”

Tommy’s lost, but he plays along. “He was feeding from my neck. He told me to help him, that he needed to be close to me. I don’t understand Ashley, what are you thinking?”

“I don’t know, I feel like him saying that, to help him, that he needed you, was his vampire’s way of saying he couldn’t live without you. Isaac told me that when his wife’s sister married her husband, it was because when she’d offered to be his donor, they’d done it for so long that he developed this need to only feed from her and she could feel it when he needed to feed and she started feeling like she needed him to feed from her.” She looks at him and then goes on. 

“He didn’t wanna feed from anyone else because their blood started to taste like coppery sandpaper and it was like he couldn’t get enough of it.”

Tommy puts his hand up. “Okay, that’s absurd on so many levels, Ash. Adam would have known that and would have told me before we started this. He used to have Kris as a donor.The only thing he warned me about was my energy and his possessiveness.”

“Then he doesn’t know, but I’m sure he does now. Kris, how long was he his donor for?”

Tommy shrugs. “A few weeks, I think. I don’t really remember if he told me. I know they didn’t do it all the time like Adam and I had, just when he absolutely needed it. They stopped when Adam almost attacked a fan for getting too close. Kinda like Adam did with me, just without the fan and with the creepy guy who couldn’t take no for an answer.”

“So they didn’t have enough time for the connection to click, right?” Tommy shakes his head. “Then maybe he didn’t say anything because he didn’t know? Maybe he’s just as blind with this as you are. Maybe he doesn’t know what’s going on, why he’s doing and feeling what he is and that scares him. Maybe that’s why he ended all of this?”

Tommy finishes his food and the rest of his drink before he lets what Ashley said sink in. It’s possible, but Adam’s been a vampire for a long time. He should know these things. “It doesn’t make sense though, Ash. How would he not know?”

Ashley shrugs. “If he’s never experienced it before or he’s never had a donor, then he wouldn’t know. I don’t really think feeding from Kris was long enough to be considered a donor, but you were.”

Tommy sighs. He needs to talk to Adam, see what’s going on. He’s confused with all this new information. “How do you even know all this Ashley?”

Ashley shrugs. “Mostly? I’m just guessing here, spitting out ideas and thoughts.”

Tommy looks at her dubiously before saying, “That’s pretty fucking accurate sounding if you ask me.”

Ashley shrugs. “I don’t know, Tommy. I’m trying to help you, to see all the sides to this.”

Tommy nods and scratches his head, all this thinking making him a little head-heavy. “Okay, well you gave me a lot to think about. I need to talk to Adam.”

Ashley asks the waitress for the check and they pay before they get up and leave.

When they get back to the bus, Tommy climbs on, goes over to Isaac and sits down next to him on the couch. “I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. It was wrong and I was stupid.”

Isaac shakes his head and pulls Tommy into a hug. “No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have said that. I should have just left well alone in the first place and let you talk out everything without putting my two cents into it. I don’t want you to think that I’m making you take a break from Adam. But I want you to know that Adam and I talked after you left. He’s going to stick to blood bags for the remainder of the tour until we go home.”

Tommy shakes his head and gets up. Fuck no, he’s fixing this shit now. He can’t stand to be away from Adam any longer. “Not if I can help it.” 

He walks away and goes to the back where Adam’s room is, knocks on the door and waits for Adam to answer. When he does, Tommy’s stricken by how bad he looks and even if Ashley was blowing hot air out of her ass, she just might have been onto something. 

“We need to talk.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have one more chapter after this and then it's over!! We hope you enjoyed this story as much as we've enjoyed writing it!! Thanks for all the lovely comments and kudos!! We love you all!! <333

  


 

**Chapter 10**

 

 

 

Adam doesn’t make a sound as he moves out the way to let Tommy into his room. The sound of the door shutting makes Tommy’s ears ring when it leaves the two of them standing there in silence. He doesn’t look at Adam as he walks over and sits on the edge of his bed feeling awkward and perfectly comfortable at the same time.

The bed dips down when Adam sits down as far away from Tommy as he possibly can and it’s _killing_ Tommy that Adam seems to feel he can’t touch him anymore. Adam looks really bad, like he hasn’t fed in weeks instead of at soundcheck only an hour before.

“Fuck,” Tommy breaths out. There is so much he wants to say and so much that he doesn’t know _how_ to say. It was easy when he was talking to Ashley about all this, but sitting here with Adam has him doubting everything again. “I can’t do this anymore, Adam. This distance, break, ignoring each other shit that we’ve been doing... It’s killing me, it’s hurting you and it needs to end.”

“You can’t do the other either, Tommy. You can’t handle me when I get clingy and have the need to touch you. That’s what started all this. There is no inbetween, baby,” Adam says softly.

Tommy looks up, watches as Adam moves to sit cross legged and face Tommy. He looks so pale, so lost and all Tommy wants to do is make it go away. He’s willing to give Adam anything and everything right now just to make it all go away. But he knows that’s what got them into this to begin with. He fights the urge to just crawl over to Adam, bare his neck and offer him _everything_ that he needs.

“It happened so fast, and I never expected it to be this strong. It was me and you and then it was _us_ in a way that I never thought, never expected. You... are just... you have no idea Adam, the way you get into my head. And you’re everywhere, I can’t even think. And then our fight happened and it was so much and so intense and I pushed you away. I shouldn’t have but I needed to, because I needed to think,” Tommy says, almost without taking a breath. He knows he’s rambling and Adam may not follow it all, but he needs to get it out before he decides it’s easier to not say anything. He doesn’t need easy right now, though, he needs to face this even if he’s too scared to tell Adam the one thing he really needs to say. “I just, I can’t _not_ do this.”

Tommy stops talking, looks up at Adam’s face and watches him. He can almost see him processing everything Tommy just spewed out. He watches the look of confusion change to hurt and then to almost relief. He can’t imagine what Adam is thinking, but it’s nowhere close to the look that he got the night that Adam told him that they were done. He feels somewhat relieved, the whispers in the back of his mind that Adam would completely reject him push away as Adam moves closer to him.

“I need you. I thought it was just one of those attraction things that vampires get, but it’s something so much more, Tommy,” Adam whispers, inching closer and Tommy can feel him and it’s so relieving to feel Adam this close again. He’s craved this.

“I know, well, I guessed. No, Ashley guessed, but I agree. And please don’t think you’re the only one that has that need, Adam, because I need you, too,” Tommy whispers, looking at Adam intently, wanting to just show him how much he does need him.

“I don’t think you need me like I need you, baby. I feel like I’m going to die with not having you. I can barely feed on anyone because their blood tastes awful and I almost can’t stomach it. I pushed through for Isaac because I didn’t want him to feel bad.” Tommy shakes his head and says fuck it to the extra space between them, pulling Adam as close to him as possible. With his arms wrapped securely around Adam’s neck, he hugs him tightly and when Adam hugs back just as hard, this high pitched squeal-keening noise comes out of Tommy because this is the best he’s felt in a while and he’s got Adam this close again.

“I need you, just please, believe me when I say that, okay? I talked to Ashley and she came up with some interesting theories for what’s going on and I believe them, because the signs are there,” Tommy says into Adam’s neck, his favorite spot right there. He pushes his face further into that space and breathes him in.

“No, Tommy, you have to listen to what I’m saying. I _need you_ , like to survive need you.”

Tommy nods because he knows and pulls back when Adam pushes him gently. “I know, I can feel it. My wrists and my neck have been burning since you started looking like this, like you can’t get enough blood. Just... listen to me for a second. I pushed you away just like you pushed me away, but what I want to know is why did you do it?” Tommy asks, because that’s what he wants to know first before he tells Adam that he wants to be with him; clean slate and all that.

Adam turns his head, eyes averted away from Tommy and he looks... scared? “I would have done something I never do in the right state of mind and that night showed me that we jumped into this way too fast for us. I pushed and pushed you until I scared both you and me. I hurt you and I could have pushed further. I never want that, Tommy. I’m scared that I’m going to end up hurting you to the point where you just can’t be around me anymore or to the point that you die. I can’t...” Adam cuts himself off and looks at Tommy and if vampires could cry, Adam would be doing that right now. His eyes are glazed over, but they’re purple and Tommy knows that he needs to feed, but they need to talk first.

“You were scared to hurt me but yet when you told me that we couldn’t do this anymore, you hurt me. Adam, I knew what I was getting into... okay, no I didn’t, but I _wanted to_ and that should have been enough. I thought you stopped this because you figured out how I felt and didn’t want to continue doing this, because you didn’t feel the same way.” Tommy moves closer to Adam again, but Adam stops him with a hand to his shoulder.

“What are you talking about?” Adam asks, looking at Tommy with confusion and he can’t help but think that maybe the only reason Adam stopped this _was_ because he was scared and not because of Tommy wanting him.

“I thought you ended things because you saw that I wanted to be with you, for real, not just as your donor and I thought that you didn’t want that so you ended it. You said you needed me too much and it made me think that my feelings fucked everything up,” Tommy says, and it feels good to tell Adam, but it’s really painful to talk about at the same time.

“We really need to talk things out more or something. Fuck!” Adam runs a hand through his hair and then looks at Tommy, face pale, but eyes bright and he smiles before grabbing Tommy and pulling him closer. Adam leans back and then they’re laying down, Tommy’s head on Adam chest with Adam’s arms around him. “If I’d have known how you felt, maybe this would have turned out differently, I don’t know. I’ve been doing a lot of ‘what if’ thinking lately.”

“How would it have changed, Adam? I don’t see anything really changing,” Tommy whispers, the soft circles being rubbed into his hip making his eyelids feel heavy.

“Everything would have changed. I would have tried changing the outcome of things or something, told you how much I wanted you, maybe tried acting somewhat like a gentleman instead of just coming to you to feed and then leaving.”

“Adam, shut up. You never did that. You were always there with me after you fed, either to hold me or make sure I ate. God, why do we sound like people who had a few one night stands and are trying to figure out why the hell they fell apart in the end?” Tommy looks up at Adam with a smile and then goes serious. “Adam, I want this again. I need it, you need it, so why can’t we do it?”

Adam looks at him with pain and then whispers, “Because you maybe want it and need it, but you’re just not ready for it, baby, and that’s okay.” Adam smiles at him and it looks broken and heart shattering and, fucking hell, he’s not letting Adam do this to him again.

“I am, please. This break showed me that, okay? I am ready and I do want this. Do you?”

Adam nods and Tommy smiles, lifting his head up, arms across Adam chest when he situates himself and he rests his chin on his hands. “Then what’s the problem? You want me, I want you, we need each other and I really want you to bite me, so what’s stopping this.”

Adam laughs, but it’s weak and Tommy can tell that his blood is getting to Adam. He slowly, eyes trained to Adam’s face, tilts his head to the side, baring his neck. “Tommy, don’t...”

“I want to, come on.” Tommy gets up and crawls up Adam’s body, relaxes his own on top of him while he tilts his head, neck pushed against Adam’s lips, Tommy’s face breathing into his hair. Right next to Adam’s ear, he whispers softly, “Please.”

Adam’s breath hitches and his hands move, one grabbing Tommy’s shoulder, the other fisting into his fringe, baring his neck further. He stops after that and Tommy wants to look at him to see what’s wrong, but he can’t move his head.

“Adam, what’s wrong?” Tommy asks, nervous about Adam maybe not wanting this. Maybe Tommy pushed too far this time. Maybe Adam doesn’t want to feed from him, no matter how much he needs him.

“Nothing, I just... Did you eat today? I need this, but I’m not putting you in harm’s way to get it,” Adam says with conviction. And Tommy’s pretty sure his heart’s never swooped and done jumping jacks in his chest, but it’s doing it now as he reaches up with his hand, wraps it around Adam’s in his hair and turns his head when Adam relaxes his grip.

Tommy looks at him and smiles. “Yeah, I did and it was a fuck ton, so you and I should be fine.” He wants to kiss Adam. He’s never been the one to initiate it, but he wants to really badly. He stares at Adam’s lips and misses what he says, so when Adam smiles showing his fangs, Tommy looks up at him.

“Huh?” Tommy furrows his eyebrows when Adam laugh-snorts at him. “What?”

“I asked you if you were going to kiss me. So again, are you going to kiss me?” Adam lifts an eyebrow up and Tommy smiles then leans over.

“Asshole,” he whispers lovingly against Adam’s lips before he kisses him. It’s chaste, a touch of lips, but it makes Tommy feel like he’s on a high and when he pulls back, Adam’s eyes are closed and Tommy leans over again to kiss his cheek before he says, “Please.”

When Adam’s eyes open, they’re the vibrant purple they are before he feeds and Tommy’s missed that color, missed that spot on Adam’s neck that’s his favorite, but most importantly, he’s missed Adam.

Tommy keeps Adam’s hand in his when his grip goes tight in his hair again and he breathes out, in, and then Adam’s at his neck, placing a soft kiss right over the artery before he bites with razor teeth. The sharp intake of breath from Tommy isn’t pain, it’s relief because his marks aren’t burning anymore and he can feel with every suck Adam gives to his neck; he’s getting stronger.

Tommy watches the color come back to his skin, the shine to his hair, and he moans at the most wonderful feeling that is Adam feeding from his neck. And he can’t help it; he gets hard, but he knows he shouldn’t care now because Adam knows, and obviously wants this. He melts on top of Adam’s chest when a groan comes from Adam, because he’s enjoying this and it’s making him stronger, better.

“God,” Tommy pants out, and he can’t hold back when Adam’s hand releases his shoulder and smoothes down his back to his hip, grabbing on and then he pulls Tommy closer. The friction helps and his mind is swimming, thoughts of coming, of Adam feeding, of everything he feels and he wonders if Adam can read his thoughts, because Adam rolls his hips into Tommy’s and then Tommy’s creating a rhythm slow enough that Adam shouldn’t be able to slip from his throat, or cut him if Tommy rolls his hips down.

As he moves on top of Adam, he can feel Adam slowing down, teeth still in his neck, but he’s not sucking the blood, just staying there and then he’s pulling back, panting against Tommy’s neck. Tommy doesn’t stop his motion, though, keeps going and Adam nudges his face the other way and Tommy lifts up and pushes his face into the other side of Adam’s neck, licks from his collarbone to his ear before he bites down on Adam’s neck.

Adam’s hitched, breathy moan cuts through the fog that’s clouding his brain and then he feels Adam sinking his teeth in again, but on the opposite side of his neck. Tommy’s hips jerk automatically with the pleasure that courses through his body and he whimpers under the tightly clench of Adam’s teeth in his neck. He’s not taking blood, just marking and it feels amazing to Tommy.

He doesn’t last long, with the friction on his cock so delicious and the pleasure pain Adam gives him with the feeding and the bite. He comes with a groan muffled into Adam’s neck, hand fisted in the sheet and thighs aching in all the right places. He flexes his thighs, rolls his hips against Adam’s one last time to milk out the rest of his orgasm and then he just goes limp on top of Adam. The erection he could feel next to his moments ago subsides and he really hopes that Adam got off on this, too.

“Shit,” Adam says, and he doesn’t sound mortified, so Tommy takes that as a bonus. “I can’t believe I just came in my pants.”

Tommy muffles his laughter into Adam’s neck and just clings tighter to him when arms wrap around him. “God, this feels amazing.”

“Yeah,” Adam whispers, kissing the side of Tommy’s head before he sighs. “It does.”

A few moment later when everything is calm and relaxed, Tommy looks up at Adam. “So, I mean, are we... what are we doing? Are we together now or does this go back to before I came in here?”

He really wants Adam to say that they’re together, and he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but he just can’t help it. So when Adam says, “We’re whatever you want to be. I’ll be behind you one hundred percent,” Tommy sort of wants to jump in glee or shout out high on a rooftop or something equally as cheesy, but all he does is rest his head back on Adam chest and smile, whispering, “Good, because you’re mine.”

And Adam’s chuckle to that is low, rumbling underneath Tommy’s ear. “Of course, baby. Whatever you want.”

Tommy smiles.  



	11. Chapter 11

Adam knows that the talk he had with Tommy helped. The last few weeks have been much better. They have their routine back again and it just feels _right_. He’s still having moments when he feels over possessive and that scares him, but the last thing that he wants to do right now is scare Tommy off. They’re _finally_ talking and he doesn’t want a possessive urge to fuck that up again. But even as good as things are at the moment, it doesn’t seem like it’s enough. Adam knows he overreacted, didn’t explain everything he knew at the time to Tommy like he should have, but when the blond offered his blood, Adam just couldn’t resist. Even though he tried to warn Tommy, he didn’t take the time to really explain everything.

He realizes all this as they’re sitting on the bus, heading to the next city and he’s watching Tommy with Isaac and Ashley. They’re his friends, _their_ friends, and Adam almost fucked that up after the night in the bar. But he sees it all differently now. He knows he’ll still be jealous, but somehow the manic possessiveness seems to be under control. Now he just wants to make it up to Tommy, feels like he has to.

Adam pulls out his phone to check his schedule for the next few days. He has an idea and he just hopes that his schedule will allow for it. With a quick tap, he has it pulled up and before he can stop himself, he’s wearing a huge grin on his face. They have a day off after the next show; it’ll be perfect. They can spend the night in and he can spoil Tommy rotten, show the blond just how much he cares about him.

“What are you grinning at?” Tommy asks, propping his head on Adam’s shoulder and looking down at his phone screen.

Adam relaxes when Tommy nuzzles his face into his neck. He still doesn’t understand why Tommy does that, but he doesn’t ask, thinks that maybe Tommy just likes to do it. He turns his head and kisses Tommy’s cheek before opening his arms for the blond to sit down in his lap.

Wrapping his arms around Tommy’s small waist, he pushes his own face against Tommy’s neck and whispers, “We have a free day after the next show. You wanna do anything special?”

“If it involves spending the whole day with you, then that’s about as special as I want it to get. I don’t need anything more than that. I’m fine with the way things are,” Tommy says, hand going into Adam’s hair and his fingers dig lightly into Adam’s scalp, scratching softly.

Adam hums under his breath and pushes into the touch before looking at Tommy. “I know that, but maybe I _want_ to spoil you a little bit. Would you be offended if I asked you to dinner in my room and maybe a movie afterwards?”

Adam loves the way Tommy’s eyes light up and the grin that spreads across his face. They have separate hotel rooms so they still get their own space when they needed it, even though Tommy usually ends up sleeping in Adam’s room anyways. “If I get to pick out the movie, baby, then consider me game.”

“One condition.”

Tommy’s eyes lower in suspicion and Adam smirks. “What?”

“No horror movies,” Adam says, waiting for the _are you kidding me?_ response he knows he’s going to get, and he’s surprised when doesn’t.

Tommy actually looks thoughtful before he says, “Yeah, fine, okay, deal.”

Adam’s smile is bright and huge when he flashes it to Tommy. He has plans for that night and he wants to make it a night Tommy will never forget.

* * *

When their free day comes, Adam is nervous and excited. He’s told the band not to disturb them for the night unless it’s a dire emergency and someone’s arm is literally hanging by a piece of tendon or a bone is penetrating the skin. He wants this to be a special, uninterrupted night full of amazing memories, even if it’s just watching TV and cuddling on Adam’s big bed or talking about random things like usual. He’s going to make this the best night of Tommy’s life, or so he hopes.

When they’re bouncing off stage, Adam has the thirst he always does, but all he has to do is look at Tommy and they’re heading to their dressing room. Tommy shoves Adam against the door when it’s closed and claims his lips before Adam has the chance to even think about what his next move is going to be.

“I love kissing you,” Tommy says against his mouth, words spoken into Adam’s lips and he moans, licking his way into Tommy’s mouth. His hands have a firm grip on Tommy’s hips and he could easily switch their positions if he wanted to, but he really doesn’t. He likes it when Tommy initiates the contact between them. It makes him feel wanted and he needs Tommy to want him.

Tommy’s hands move up to his hair and they yank, pulling Adam’s head to the side so that Tommy can kiss his way down Adam’s neck. When he gets to the spot that he’s always aiming for, he bites down with blunt teeth and sucks like he’s the vampire trying to feed. It gives Adam a small and fast fading bruise, but once he’s got Tommy’s blood in his system, it’ll pop up just like Tommy wants it to.

“Come on, baby,” Adam whispers, slowly changing their position while Tommy’s latched to his throat. He pins Tommy to the door then gets a knee between his thighs like he always does and right before he goes to bite, he pulls back, making Tommy whine.

“What, Adam, _what_?” Tommy complains and Adam chuckles softly.

“Did you eat during intermission?” Adam whispers against Tommy’s throat, licking a path from collarbone to ear, loving the shiver he gets from Tommy and wanting to make Tommy do more.

“N-no, why? You can feed, Adam, it’s fine. I’m much stronger than I was when we first started.”

Adam shakes his head and pulls back. “You know my rules, baby: food first, feed last, then food again. Come on.” Adam pulls back and goes over to the fridge followed by a very unamused Tommy muttering about shit not being fair and being cockblocked.

“Be quiet and eat this.” Adam hands him a chicken sandwich and a bottle of apple juice before he walks behind Tommy and starts kissing his neck, feeling Tommy’s jaw work when he kisses up to the corner of his mouth.

“You know, I can’t eat this if you don’t quit teasing me,” Tommy says around a mouthful of chicken, because Adam can see that he’s scarfing it down as fast as he can, chugging the apple juice with it.

Adam hums over Tommy’s Adam’s apple, feeling him swallow and smiles. “I make good on my teasing and you know it.” He licks a line up Tommy’s neck again when he finishes his sandwich and then Tommy finishes the juice, throws the bottle and wraps his arms around Adam’s neck, bringing him into a kiss.

Adam backs them up against the wall next to the door and holds onto Tommy’s hips when Tommy turns his head to the side, tilting it just right for Adam. “Please, baby,” Tommy whispers right before Adam feels his fangs descend.

“God, the things you do to me,” Adam whispers before he sinks his teeth into Tommy’s neck, opening his mouth wide to catch all of his man’s blood. When he starts sucking, he can feel the spot on his neck start to throb from Tommy biting and sucking on it. He knows there’s going to be a bruise there soon.

When he rubs his thigh against Tommy’s cock followed by his hands going into his hair, Adam feels Tommy shiver, gripping tightly onto Adam’s shoulders as a moan escapes his lips. “Fuck, Adam.”

Adam sucks one more mouthful of blood and then swallows, licking the wound to seal it before he pulls back. Tommy looks at him with glazed eyes and Adam makes sure the remaining blood in his mouth is completely gone before he smiles sweetly at him. “You ready to go, baby?”

Tommy releases his hold on Adam and nods. “Carry me, though. I can’t feel my legs.”

Adam laughs and steps back some, his hold loosening on Tommy but not letting go just in case Tommy loses his balance. “I would never hear the end of that from you or anyone else that saw us. You’d complain for the rest of your life that that one time you wanted me to carry you was a joke and you were still coming down from me feeding.”

Tommy smiles but tries to cover it with a pout and Adam’s not having that, so he pulls his fangs back, bends down and takes Tommy’s lower lips into his mouth, nipping it bluntly. “Stop pouting, you look ridiculous.”

Tommy’s laughter still rings in his ears as they’re walking down the hallway to the rental cars. He can’t wait to get back to the hotel and spend his night with Tommy.

* * *

“Yeah, that’ll be all. Okay, thanks. Bye.” Adam hangs up the phone and then goes over to Tommy who’s sitting on the couch, a glass of Jack in his hands while he watches some program. Adam sits down and pulls Tommy to him, smiling when Tommy rests his head on his shoulder. “The food will be here in about a half hour. What do you want to do until then?”

Tommy doesn’t answer right away and Adam starts to think he’s fallen asleep, but then he sloshes his drink around the glass and turns his head to look up at Adam. “Shower with me. We need to get the stage sweat off of us and if we do it together, we should be done by the time the food gets here.”

Adam creases his eyebrows and thinks about it, because they’ve never done that before. Adam’s actually _never_ seen Tommy fully naked and he really wants to, but even if Tommy suggested it, he doesn’t want Tommy to think he has to because Adam wants to.

Tommy kisses his cheek softly before saying, “I want you to come shower with me,” against the skin of Adam’s cheek and it sends a shiver up his spine.

Adam swallows thickly and then nods his head, getting off the couch with Tommy’s help and then Tommy leads him to the bathroom. Adam doesn’t know what to do, whether he should take Tommy’s clothes off himself or his own or let Tommy do it; he’s scared.

He doesn’t want to push Tommy too far or hurt him and he’s stuck standing in the bathroom, hands at his sides, feeling completely ridiculous until Tommy walks up to him, fits his body right against Adam’s front.

He runs his hands up Adam’s arms to his neck before softly grabbing his face and pulling him down for a kiss. A slow glide of lips is all he gets, but it brings him back to himself, yet he doesn’t move, lets Tommy do whatever he wants.

Tommy runs his hands down Adam’s neck, over his chest and to his hips, grabbing the ends of Adam’s shirt before lifting it over his stomach. “Arms up, baby,” is whispered so softly against his lips and Adam lifts his arms, head tilted back when the shirt gets stuck.

Tommy tosses it to the floor and when Adam looks down at him, he sees Tommy staring at his chest, his stomach, and his arms. His hands come up and softly, feather-like, he touches Adam’s skin. His fingertips are gently, running up Adam’s stomach and making his muscles flutter before they venture up his chest and down his arms, linking their fingers together.

“You’re so beautiful,” Tommy whispers, releasing his hold on Adam’s hands after he gives them a squeeze, running them up his forearms while he walks around Adam and behind him.

Adam’s left looking at the wall and all he can do is feel what Tommy’s doing to him. When a breath hits his back, his legs go a little weak. Tommy breathes softly against his neck, hands running down to his hips before he litters Adam’s shoulders and neck with soft kisses while he works Adam’s pants open and down. When Adam steps out of them, Tommy kicks them and then hands are roaming over his stomach, down to his briefs and Adam starts wondering how Tommy became so bold about this when Adam’s freaking out because he doesn’t want to do anything wrong and hurt Tommy.

He’s hard and starting to ache by the time Tommy pushes his boxers down and then Adam can’t take it much more and he’s moving on his own, turning around in Tommy’s arms and looking down into lust filled brown eyes.

Tommy doesn’t stop touching him or staring at him, like he’s not afraid to show Adam that he wants this. It pulls at Adam’s heartstrings and he bends down, touching Tommy’s lips softly with his own before removing Tommy’s own clothes just as slowly. The shivers and hitches in his breath turn Adam on and make him want to touch even more of Tommy’s skin.

Tommy pulls back after Adam strips the rest of his clothes and goes over to the shower, turning it on and then he grabs Adam’s hand and pulls him under the spray, laughing when it gets into Adam’s face.

“You haven’t said a word since we got in here. Is everything okay?” Tommy asks, hands coming up to Adam’s face and when he looks at Tommy, concern shows in his eyes. He doesn’t want that look there. Tonight is supposed to be about making Tommy happy.

He shakes his head and smiles softly at Tommy. “I just don’t want to mess this up is all. I don’t want to push you too far or hurt you.”

Tommy pushes Adam against the wall and kisses him with force, opening the seam of Adam’s lips with his tongue and moving closer, his half hard cock rubbing against Adam’s thigh. “You’re not gonna hurt me and if I thought we were going too far, I’d have stopped this a long time ago. Just relax, okay? Whatever you want tonight or any other night,” Tommy whispers against Adam’s lips.

Adam lowers his head and chuckles against Tommy’s neck. “Isn’t that supposed to be my line or something? I should be the one comforting you since this _is_ your first time doing anything like this.”

Tommy shrugs, jostling Adam’s head a little. “When I accepted the fact that I was in love with you, my fear about everything other than not having you in my life left me. I want just as much as you want, okay?”

Adam sighs and relaxes for the first time since Tommy suggested taking a shower together. He brings his hands up and lets himself touch Tommy, run his fingers over his stomach and chest. He feels amazing under Adam’s touch and he suddenly doesn’t want to shower anymore. He wants to take Tommy to bed.

Right before he gets the chance to tell Tommy that, he’s washing Adam’s hair, running soap all over his body before shoving him under the spray, making Adam laugh hard.

“What are you doing? I thought this was going to go slow,” Adam says while wiping the water from his eyes.

Tommy smiles and then shrugs. “Sorry, I’m a little hungry and I want to hurry this up so we can get on that big bed in your room and eat.”

Adam shakes his head, glad that Tommy knows he’s nervous and he can see that Tommy’s starting to get nervous also. He grabs Tommy when he turns around and pulls his back against his chest, nuzzling his neck before kissing it. “You’re such a guy, thinking with your stomach,” Adam jokes, smiling at Tommy’s laugh.

They wash up a few moments later and then they get out and go into the bedroom. Right before they get comfortable, there’s a knock on the door and Adam slips on a pair of pants before answering it.

He pays for the meal, tips the guy and then closes to door, heading back to the bed. Tommy’s sprawled out on top of the sheets with just a towel around his waist, his arms behind his head, one knee bent and Adam’s mouth waters at the picture.

“Food --” His voice goes out and he coughs before trying again. “Food’s here.”

Tommy looks at him with a raised eyebrow before realization shows on his face and he blushes, his legs going straight as he sits up. “Sorry, I was just...”

“Definitely nothing to be sorry about,” Adam mumbles before laughing a little nervously. His thirst is building up a little bit and he really wants to get Tommy under him, sink his teeth into his neck while they were fucking.

Tommy smiles and then grabs the plate off of the tray before Adam sets it down. He watches Tommy eat in silence and when he’s finished, Adam asks Tommy if he wants to watch a movie.

“Adam, we both know that tonight is not going to be wasted on a movie. I get it, we’re both stupidly nervous, but come on, it’s not that bad, right?” Tommy asks, concern and hesitancy in his eyes.

“I just want this to be perfect for you. I don’t want to mess anything up and I want it to be something you see as a good memory, not something that went horribly wrong,” Adam says, pulling Tommy down over him when he lays back on the bed.

Tommy straddles his hips and lays his head on Adam’s chest. “It’ll be good, because it’s you.”

Adam snorts. “I’m not saying that I’m horrible, but I just don’t want to hurt you and it might hurt a little bit.”

“I’m okay with a little pain, I mean, I was nervous as hell when you first fed from me because I thought it was going to hurt and if sex with you is anything like you feeding from me...” Tommy stops and then looks up at Adam seriously. “Yeah, maybe we shouldn’t do it. I might die of a heart attack or something.” Adam glares and Tommy snorts before he kisses Adam’s cheek. “Come on, it’s you and me. We can do this, right?”

Adam looks at Tommy and he really can’t think of anyplace else he’d rather be than right here, like this with Tommy. “Are you going to ride me?” Adam jokingly asks and loves Tommy’s blush. It’s the cutest and hottest thing Adam’s ever seen and he wants to taste the blood there, see if it’s like the blood in Tommy’s neck and wrist. Then he thinks about tasting blood somewhere else and he’s got Tommy under him in the blink of an eye.

Tommy’s nerves show when Adam rubs his thigh and he tries soothing him by rubbing his side. “You sure about this?”

Tommy nods his head. “Yeah, probably the most sure about anything in my life at the moment. Just, like, I don’t know what you want or need me to do,“ Tommy admits with a blush on his cheeks.

Adam’s toppy side takes over like it has so many other times and he tells Tommy to stay right there while he gets lube and a condom. He puts on music, nothing cheese but something to relax Tommy and himself with. When he returns back to Tommy, he can see some of the nerves leaving his body.

He sits on the bed, spreading Tommy’s legs so he can settle between them before opening up the lube and coating his fingers generously. He bends over Tommy and whispers, “Breath through this for me, okay? Stay relaxed and it’ll go easily.”

Tommy does as he’s asked and it’s easy to push that first finger in. He rains kisses over Tommy’s face and neck, nipping at the tender spots, trying to distract him from the pressure and probably awkward feeling of something being inside of him for the first time. He pulls back and looks at Tommy’s face, seeing discomfort.

“Are you okay? Am I hurting you?” Adam stops moving his finger and Tommy whines, eyebrows furrowed.

“I’m fine, ‘s just really weird right now, but don’t stop moving,” he says, moving his hips a little and Adam smiles before he follows Tommy’s orders and resumes opening him up.

He adds another finger and when Tommy pulls away from it, Adam shushes him and tells him to breathe.

“It’s difficult not to just push it out. Feels like it doesn’t belong, but it doesn’t hurt, doesn’t feel good either, but it doesn’t hurt.” Tommy turns his head and Adam can see the sweat on his skin and the thud of his pulse underneath his skin that make his mouth water even more.

When Adam finds that bundle of nerves and brushes his fingers over it, pressing down against it, Tommy’s hitched moan makes some of the worry seep out of him before he scissors his fingers and thrusts some more. He looks away from Tommy’s face and down at his fingers penetrating his hole and it the most obscene thing he’s ever seen and the hottest.

Tommy is so tight around his fingers and Adam’s the one that’s starting to think he might not fit. He works his fingers in some more and when Tommy spreads out wider, Adam lowers himself down the bed until he’s in front of Tommy’s cock.

He thrusts his fingers into Tommy’s hole and then leans forward and licks the base of Tommy’s cock, running his tongue down over his balls, then moves his way to the crease of Tommy’s thigh. He runs his tongue between the dip until he feels the pulse there, stopping over it and groaning at how quick it is.

“Do it, Adam,” Tommy keens out, pushing his hips up into Adam’s face and he nips right over the artery, feeling it thicken before his fangs descend and he sinks his teeth down.

Tommy arches off the bed and Adam has to hold him down with his free hand to keep him from making Adam tear his flesh. Blood pours into his mouth and it’s the sweetest taste he’s ever had in his mouth, even greater than the taste from Tommy’s neck and he doesn’t think about how that’s possible just drinks it.

“Adam, please, I’m getting close.”

Adam pulls back and licks over the wound quickly, not giving it time to pulse out more blood. He cleans up and licks his lips before moving up Tommy’s body to his neck, kissing his throat before whispering, “I don’t want you to come yet,” when Tommy whines about him stopping.

Tommy’s still really tight around his fingers and Adam pulls back and looks down, adding another finger to the two he has in there, hoping that he’s not hurting Tommy anymore than he has to.

“Why do you look worried? Is something wrong?” Tommy asks and the moment his panic sets in, he tenses underneath Adam and his hole is a vice like grip on his fingers.

“No, baby, relax. I’m sorry, nothing’s wrong,” Adam leans over and kisses Tommy softly before pulling back and rubbing a soothing hand over his hip. He massages his fingers into Tommy’s hole and feels it loosen a little more.

When Tommy starts saying that he thinks he’s ready, Adam looks at him with worried eyes. “Are you sure? Maybe I should open you up a little more, make sure. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Tommy nods his head and starts moving his hips, thrusting against the fingers Adam has inside of him. Adam worries his lip at how hot that is, but he wants to make know that Tommy is really ready. “So you’re sure?”

Tommy’s panting and moving himself on Adam’s fingers, sweat beads running across his forehead. He opens his eyes and looks at Adam. “If you ask me if I’m sure one more time, I’m going to put your dick in me myself now please, fuck me.”

Adam nods and keeps his mouth shut, Tommy’s racing pulse making his thirst rise again and he’s really happy that Tommy fed before this because he doesn’t think he’d remember to tell him to do it when he’s balls deep inside of him. He pulls his fingers out and Tommy whines, bringing his own fingers to his hole and pushing them in.

Adam groans at that view and misses the condom when he goes to reach for it, too focus on Tommy’s fingers pushing into himself.

“Sorry, felt empty and it was really good when you had your fingers in me. Come on, please.” And Tommy should never be sorry for doing that, Adam thinks, because it’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen. He thinks Tommy is all around hot, but that blows the roof off of everything else.

When Adam puts the condom on, he grabs the lube and coats his cock before leaning over Tommy and pulling his fingers out of his ass. When he positions himself at Tommy’s hole, he tells him to breathe in and when Tommy does, Adam pushes in.

Tommy’s hand immediately fly up to grip Adam’s shoulder, fingernails digging into his skin as he pushes further and further into Tommy. “Not gonna fit. Fuck, you’re so big,” Tommy grits out, eyes squeezed tight.

“Baby,” Adam says, stopping his movement, giving Tommy time to adjust. When Tommy opens his eyes, Adam smiles and kisses his softly. “You’re doing so good for me.”

“Good, because it feels like you’re splitting me into two down there.” Tommy’s face contorts to pain when Adam pushes in further and he stops again, pulling out a little. “God, fuck! Don’t pull out, Adam!” Tommy hisses through clenched teeth.

“I’m not, baby, just trying to open you up a little more,” Adam says before pushing his cock back into Tommy.

He brushes that spot and Tommy bucks back against him, taking the rest of Adam’s girth. Their moans fill the air when Adam stops to breathe because he hadn’t expected Tommy to take all of Adam like that in one go and he thinks he might come if Tommy moves.

“Don’t move, fuck Tommy, don’t move,” Adam whispers, the tight grip Tommy has around his length has him ready to blow before he really wants to. He takes a few deep breaths and looks at Tommy who has a blissed out look on his face. Adam starts thrusting, hand going down to wrap around Tommy’s cock because he’s not going to last long by any means; Tommy’s so tight around him.

When Tommy turns his head, Adam licks up his neck, tonguing the artery there that’s pumping blood so fast it has Adam wanting to taste every beat on his tongue.

“Please,” Tommy whimpers.

“What do you want, baby?” Adam asks, nipping the flesh of Tommy’s throat as he pushes in, creating a steady rhythm, his teeth descending when he lets go of the skin.

“Bite me, please, god wanna feel you. ‘m so close.” Tommy meets Adam’s next grind of hips with his own and then Adam bites down on Tommy’s throat, twisting his wrist around the head of Tommy’s cock and smearing the precome down his length.

Tommy’s blood tastes like sex and heat and then Adam’s hand is covered in Tommy’s come, Tommy’s voice moaning his name in his ear before he continues to suck.

He fucks in a few more times and gets a couple mouthfuls of blood before he’s coming, pulling back from Tommy’s neck too messily and too fast, blood running down his chin.

He’s surprised when Tommy pulls him down for a kiss, but he resists it. “I don’t care, Adam, really,” Tommy says and then he’s kissing Adam, licking into his mouth and he knows that Tommy can taste his own blood, but he doesn’t jerk away, he pulls Adam closer.

Adam slips out of Tommy while their tongues slide around each other and Adam lays on his side, bringing Tommy closer, lips never leaving his. They kiss like that for several moments, until the blood in his mouth is gone and then Tommy pulls back, blood on his chin.

“Oh my god, I think you might be the death of me,” Adam says, leaning forward to lick the blood from Tommy’s lips and chin.

“This might sound weird, but you taste good with my blood in your mouth,” Tommy says, quizzical look on his face like he’s wondering why that is.

Adam smiles and whispers, “I love you, you little freak.”

Tommy’s beam fills Adam’s heart with joy and he kisses Tommy again when he whispers back, “I love you, too.”

Adam smiles, but then goes serious when Tommy moves closer, hissing softly. “Are you okay?”

“Adam, I’m fine, really, just sore. You know, I did just get fucked. You’d be sore, too.” Tommy’s smile is sweet when he flashes it to Adam and he can’t help but chuckle and smile back, pulling Tommy closer to him. “But now, I’m really tired, and hungry. You calling room service again?”

Adam kisses Tommy’s forehead before he gets up, groaning at the tightening pinch in his muscles. Man, he hasn’t had that feeling in a long time. He stretches before walking over to the phone by the TV and calling room service, ordering Tommy a double cheeseburger, fry and an orange juice before he hangs up.

“It’ll be here in about a half hour. Think you can wait that long or do you want me to wake you up when it gets here?” Adam asks, slipping back into bed with Tommy, who’s already almost asleep. “I’ll wake you up then, baby.”

Adam puts an arm around his head and grabs the remote, turning on the TV. A few minutes into the show, he watches as Tommy shuffles closer to him and wraps an arm around him, chuckling softly when Tommy’s head rests on his shoulder, his face nuzzled into the side of Adam’s neck. And then Adam thinks that maybe that’s Tommy’s favorite spot to be and he can’t keep the smile off his face when he looks back at the TV.

This may not be the time for them to talk about forever, but Adam’s pretty sure that when the time is right, and when they’re both ready for the next step in their relationship, they’ll be with each other for eternity.

  
~The End~

  



End file.
